James and Lily: A Hogwarts Story
by FallenAntigone
Summary: James and Lily's last years at Hogwarts. Starts from Snape's worst memory and goes to graduation. Follow the legendary couple and their friends through pranks, Quidditch, NEWTs and the rise of Voldemort. Might get a little angsty but mostly light hearted.
1. Naturally Unintelligent

**Naturally Unintelligent**

Okay this is my first Harry Potter fic. So there will probally cough oh fine most likely have some kinks in it. I APPRECIATE ALL FEEDBACK. Really. Just having someone read it will be nice. Oh yeah! And Rowlie owns all; I own own Cassie and Paige. sigh How sad…. Oh well….

'Five more minutes' shouted a small squatted professor as he moved between desks. The great hall was set up for OWLs with individual desks, all facing the same way, and at each sat a student a piece of parchment in front of them. Professor Flitwick walked past a boy with extremely messy black bent low over his paper. After a second he straitened up, putting down his quill and pulling his parchment towards so he could reread it.

James Potter yawned widely and rumpled his hair, making it (if possible) even messier. He had messy black hair, striking hazel eyes and a smile that made just about any girl weak at the knees. He quickly glanced over at Professor Flitwick, who had his back turned answer the question of a young girl with long red hair. Then he turned in his seat and grinned at a boy sitting four seats behind him.

Sirius Black lounged in his chair with ease, tilting it back on two legs, and returned his friends smile with a thumbs up. He and James Potter had been inseparable since their first day at Hogwarts much to the horror of professors and prefects alike. Sirius was also very good looking; his dark hair fell into his grey eyes with a sort of casual elegance James could never manage. Too top it all off he was probably the only student in Hogwarts history to have an official fan club. (James' was unofficial)

The girl next to Sirius eyed him hopefully then caught James' eye and grinned sheepishly as he waggled his eyebrows at her. Cassie Prewitt had long blond hair down the middle of her back, dark green eyes always dancing with laughter and the hugest crush on Sirius since second year. The funny part was Sirius liked her too but both seemed more interested in flirting shamelessly then actually having a relationship. She was also an honorary marauder and had been one of James closet friends since they were five when she had moved into the house next to James.

Two seats along from Cassie sat another marauder. Remus Lupin was a pale peaky looking boy with light brown hair and bright blue eyes who was completely absorbed in his exam. Despite looking constantly sick he had his fair share of girl admirers who he ignored completely. He reread his answers scratching his chin with the end of his quill, frowning slightly.

Several feet over sat the last marauder. Peter Pettigrew was a small mousy haired boy with a pointed nose and dark brown eyes. No one was really sure why he was in the group of the coolest kids in school (even the other members themselves) for he was not as smart or good looking or clever or powerful or nice or funny or anything really. (a/n: I'm so cruel laughs evily) But the others saw him as something of a younger brother in need of protection, which he certainly did now. Peter looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. Every now and then he glanced hopefully at his neighbour's paper.

James turned back to his desk with one last glance at Cassie who was now poking Sirius evilly with her wand while he poked her back. Rolling his eyes he began doodling absent mindedly a snitch on a piece of scrap parchment. He sighed and traced the letters 'L.E.' over and over again on the inside of the snitch.

'Quills down, please," squeaked Professor Flitwick. 'That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_'

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed. A couple students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back on his feet.

'Thank you… Thank you,' panted Professor Flitwick. 'Very well, everybody, you're free to go!'

James hastily crossed out the 'L.E.' he had been embellishing, jumped to his feet, stuffed his quill and exam paper in his bag, which he slung over his back and stood waiting for Sirius to join him.

'Did you like question ten, Moony?' asked Sirius as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

'Loved it,' said Remus briskly. '_Give five signs that identify the werewolf._ Excellent question.'

'D'you think you managed to get all the signs?' said James in tones of mock concern.

'Think I did,' Remus said seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. 'One: he's sitting in my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: he's name is Remus Lupin.'

James and Sirius laughed while Remus grinned to himself. Remus had been a werewolf since he was only four. His parents thought that he couldn't go to Hogwarts but then Dumbledore became headmaster. So a whomping willow (an extremely mean vindictive tree) was planted over a secret tunnel that lead to a small shack where he could have his transformations. James and Sirius (Peter never notices anything) could hardly fail to notice that Remus mysteriously disappeared once a month. In second year they figured out his 'condition' and James (determined to look on the bright side of things) dubbed it his 'furry little problem.' So, for about three years now most students in the school were under the impression that Remus was the reluctant owner of an extremely badly behaved rabbit. His transformations were still painful though so after three years James, Sirius and Peter became Animagus. Peter, still focused on his exam, was the only one that didn't laugh.

'I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail,' he said anxiously. 'but I couldn't think what else –'

'How thick are you, Wormtail?' said James impatiently. 'You run round with a werewolf once a month –'

'Keep your voice down,' implored Remus. Aside from the marauders only some teachers and Cassie knew about Remus being a werewolf. Cassie found out by accident when Remus, James and Sirius got drunk once at the beginning at the beginning of term (long story….)(a/n: you'll find out later) The next morning Cassie brought them all hangover potions, promised never to tell anyone and never said another word about it since then, as any honorary marauder would.

They were walking across the lawn towards the lake now as they returned to the topic of the exams. 'Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,' Sirius said. 'I'll be surprised if I don't get "Outstanding" on it at least.'

'Me too,' James agreed as he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a struggling snitch.

'Where'd you get that?"

'Nicked it,' said James casually. He started playing with the snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe. They stopped in the shade of their favourite tree and threw themselves down on the grass. The sunlit was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls, which included Cassie, who had just left the Great Hall were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.

Remus had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Peter was watching him with his mouth open. (a/n: mumbles to herself pathetic, just pathetic….) Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded. Every so often James would glance over at the girls by the lake and rumple his hair nervously.

'Put that away, will you,' Sirius said finally, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a little cheer. 'Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.'

Peter turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

'If it bothers you,' he said, stuffing the snitch back in his pocket. Really there were only three people James would stop showing off for. One was Sirius the second was Cassie and the third was the happy red headed beauty sitting next to Cassie on the bank.

'I'm bored,' Sirius stated. 'Wish it was a full moon.'

'You might,' Remus said darkly from behind his book. 'We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here…' and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. 'I don't need that to look at that rubbish, I know it all.'

'This'll liven you up, Padfoot,' said James quietly. 'Look who it is…'

Sirius' head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. 'Excellent,' he said softly. '_Snivellus_.'

Another boy was getting to his feet and stowed the OWL paper in his bag and set off across the grass. Severus Snape was a pale shrunken looking boy he had stringy greasy hair that fell into his cruel mud coloured eyes. He scuttled across the grass twitching much like a spider would as James and Sirius stood up.

Remus and Peter remained sitting: Remus was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Peter was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

'All right, Snivellus?' said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he was expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hands inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, '_Expelliarmus!_'

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

'_Impedimenta!_' he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked of his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Remus to get a clearer view.

'How'd the exam go, Snivelly?' said James.

'I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,' said Sirius viciously. 'There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a single word.'

Several people watching laughed and Peter sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

'You – wait,' he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. 'You – wait!'

'Wait for what?' said Sirius coolly. 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened. Among the swear words were the words 'blood traitor.' James glared down at Snape in disgust. 'Wash out your mouth,' said James coldly. '_Scourgify!_'

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him –

'Leave him ALONE!'

James and Sirius looked round. James' free hand immediately jumped to his hair.

It was one of the girls from the lake edge. Lily Evans had thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders, startling green almond shaped eyes and was the only girl in all of Hogwarts that was immune to the 'Potter' charm. She was glaring at James while her three friends stood behind her, including Cassie who looked torn between laughter and exasperation at her idiot friends.

'All right, Evans?' said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly deeper, pleasant, more mature.

'Leave him alone,' Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. Behind her Cassie rolled her eyes at the girl beside her who grinned back. Alice Meadowes was a happy round face girl with chestnut brown hair, warm amber eyes and the sweetest disposition in the world. She was Cassie's cousin but the two acted more like sisters. Alice and Cassie's family came from a long line of powerful wizards but while Alice's mother, Dorcas, married another pureblood wizard Cassie's mom married a muggle. After Cassie's dad found out his wife was a witch he left and Cassie and her mom moved in next to the Potters. She stayed very close to her mom's family, mainly Alice, and kept her mom's maiden name.

'What's he done to you?' Lily asked still glaring at James.

'Well,' said James, appearing to deliberate the point, 'it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…'

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

'You think you're funny,' she said coldly. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone._'

'I will if you go out with me, Evans,' said James quickly. 'Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.' Behind him the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' said Lily. Another of Lily's friends behind her laughed at James. The last of Lily's Gryffindor friends (who were her closest friends) was a muggle-born like Lily. Paige McAdams had long strait black hair, ice blue eyes and a temper to match Lily's. Of the three she was the only one to be even a little sympathetic to Lily's plight against James.

'Bad luck, Prongs,' said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. 'OI!'

But it was too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James, there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James' face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Peter roared with laughter. Cassie had started forward when James was attacked but now rolled her eyes and fell back. Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, 'Let him down.'

'Certainly,' said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Detangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, '_Petrificus Totalus!_' and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.

'LEAVE HIM ALONE!' Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

'Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,' James said earnestly.

'Take the curse off him, then!'

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

'There you go,' he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –'

'I don't need help from fifthly little Mudbloods like her!' Lily blinked as her friends behind her let out gasps of indignation and brought out their own wands. Calling a Muggle born a Mudblood was one of the foulest insults a wizard could come up with and everyone present knew it.

'Fine,' Lily said coolly. 'I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_.'

'Apologize to Evans!' James roared at Snape, his hand pointed threateningly at him.

'I don't want _you _to make him apologize,' Lily shouted, rounding on James. 'You're as bad as he is.'

'What?' yelped James. 'I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!'

'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

She turned on her heel and walked back to her friends.

'Evans!' James shouted after her as she reached them and started to walk away with Paige. 'Hey, EVANS!'

But she didn't look back. Cassie and Alice stayed where they were rolling their eyes at their stupid friends. Cassie shot James another sympathetic look.

'What is with her?' said James, trying and failing to look as though this was throw away question of no real importance.

'Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate,' said Sirius.

'Right,' said James, who looked furious now, 'right –'

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

'Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?' James asked much to the approval of the crowd. Cassie sighed and trotted up to James and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was it worked. James brought his wand arm down to his side and Snape fell to the ground in a heap. James turned to look at Cassie and another flash of light left a huge gash down the side of James robes. Sirius and James both started forward but Cassie brought her wand up and in seconds all three boys were hanging in mid-air their wands left harmlessly on the ground.

'Enough,' a commanding voice came from the crowd as a boy of seventeen appeared at the edge.

'Bug off, Ian,' Cassie said lightly addressing the Head Boy as she lowered James and Sirius lightly to the ground (Snape fell in another heap). 'James has to go to the hospital wing.'

The head boy, Fabian Prewitt (Ian for short in Cassie's books) just nodded and gave them each, excluding Cassie, a week of detention. Fabian was one of Cassie and Alice's cousin and was rather prissy about school fighting. Cassie picked up James' wand handed it back to him a smile playing on her lips. 'You'll take him right, Sirius?'

'Yeah,' Sirius agreed walking over with his own wand as the crowd dispersed. 'Why'd you have to ruin our fun, eh, Cassie?'

Cassie just smacked him lightly still grinning, and said, 'I gotta go catch up with Lily. See you later!' Then ran off after Lily with Alice.

Cassie and Alice finally caught up with Lily and Paige as they reach the Hogwarts steps and walked into school together.

'I don't now how you can stand him, Cassie,' Lily stated shaking her head as they continued to walk.

'He's not that bad,' Cassie argued. 'He can be a bit of a prat sure but his fifteen! He's actually really, really sweet.'

'He is not sweet!' Lily said heatedly as they started to climb the stairs in the entrance hall. 'He is the most egotistical, bullying, selfish, self-centered, competitive, narcissistic, lazy, conceited, idiotic and moronic person to EVER come into Hogwarts!'

'You know most of those insults meant the same thing,' Alice commented dryly from behind Cassie and Lily as she and Paige walked behind them up the stairs. Lily gave her a quick glare then turned back to Cassie. 'How can you say he's sweet?'

'Because he is,' Cassie stated stubbornly. 'I've known him since I was five. He taught me how to fly my first broom. Trust me he's a nice guy. You should give him a chance.'

'A chance? Hell, no!'

'Language Miss. Lily,' Paige said in a sing song voice. Lily turned to glare at her and all three other girls rolled their eyes. Lily growled in annoyance as they reached the portrait of the fat lady. '_Obedience._' She told the portrait as it swung forward to let them enter into the common room.

'Potter and Black are just so…' she trailed of at the look on Cassie's face and started again. 'Potter and Sirius just piss me off.'

Cassie having lived next to the Potter's for 11 years knew about Sirius' (or at least some of) family situation. Because of that she never allowed Lily or anyone else to bring them up around her, even if it was just a mention of his surname.

They started walking up to their dormitory as Lily and Cassie continued to argue. Finally when they reached the door to their dormitory Cassie was beginning to lose her temper. Cassie was such an obnoxiously happy, optimistic person that it was actually very frightening to see her mad.

Lily started to open the door but Cassie slammed it shut and rounded on her friend. 'Why are you so mean to him?' Lily opened her mouth to protest as Paige and Alice stared at her in shock. 'He likes you, Lily and Snivelly deserves what he gets. So don't even try.'

'I know but there's something about him that gets me so….' Lily sighed. 'I don't know, okay? Can we go in now? We have our last OWL tomorrow remember?'

Cassie sighed then stepped out of the way and followed the three girls into the dorm room.

Each bed and surrounding area was unique to the girl that owned it. Alice's had a million pillows scattered about, books piled higher then the bed on the floor and her homework and text books littered the floor. Paige's had CD's scattered across her unmade bed, various instruments littering the area and two posters on the wall above her bed: one was for the muggle band _Led Zeppelin_ the other was for the band _Seekin' Snitch_. Cassie's had a poster for her favourite Quidditch team: Serenities (the only team in the league to have an all female players), beside it was a poster for _Sneekin' Snitch_, she had various picture plastered on her wall of her and her friends and family and her Quidditch robes were slung over the chair beside her bed. Lily's bed was like a combination of the other three's. Lily's bedside table was covered in pictures like Cassie's wall, her books were pilled just as high as Alice's and she had various CD's both muggle and magical.

Lily plopped onto her bed and pulled out her transfiguration textbook as the other girls jumped onto their beds, sighing contently. 'Cassie can you test me?'

'Hell, no! We just finished one exam and you want to start studying for the next already? Besides,' Cassie said putting on a mock snotty look. 'Just because you three are so naturally unintelligent that you have to study…Hey!' Cassie was pummeled with three pillows at once and collapsed into a fit of giggles.


	2. The Marauders Plus Cassie

The Marauders Plus Cassie

The next day the marauders (and Cassie) were longing in the boy's dorm. Cassie was lying on Sirius' bed reading a book of James' that he refused to let out of his sight, while James himself was hanging upside down off his bed professing his unconditional love for one Lily Evans. Remus ignored this completely and continued going over his last OWL while Sirius was putting the last touches on the prank for the last day from beside Cassie. Oddly Peter wasn't there; he usually followed James and Sirius around like a lost puppy.

'She is just so amazing,' James groaned from his bed. Everyone rolled their eyes at him. Cassie looked up from her book a huge grin plastered on her face. 'You are hopeless, my dear Prongsie.'

'I know,' he moaned miserably again. 'I'm pathetic.'

Cassie just sighed in resignation and closed her book using her finger to keep her place and sat up. 'Do you really like her James? I mean really like her? Because if you're just going to hurt her….'

James rolled over so he was upright and looked at Cassie gravely, 'I could never hurt her.'

'And you're serious about having a real relationship?' Sirius looked up a huge grin on his face.

'I am completely serious ('No, I'm Sirius!'), Cassie.'

'Are you sure because if you are not serious…. ('He's not, I am!') I don't want Lily to get hurt.'

'I am more serious ('Ha, ha!') about her then I've ever been about anyone.'

Cassie studied James as the both ignored Sirius (though Remus was looking at him in disgust). Finally she said, 'All right since you're serious about this I'll help.'

Sirius unable to control himself any longer fell off the bed rolling around on the ground laughing. He was immediately bombarded by his friends with anything that was in reach.

After Cassie had agreed to help James 'woo' ('Never call it that around her,' Cassie scolded after smacking James around the head.) Lily they agreed to allow her to assist in the final prank of their fifth year. Though they made it out as though this was a great privilege to her and interference to them it was most likely because they actually needed her help. Remus agreed with this along with James (although very reluctantly) though Sirius maintained that this was a real honor for her. As unlikely as it may seem Sirius was actually correct: Cassie was the only person ever allowed to participate in a marauder prank.

Almost everyone in the school was looking forward to the end of school fest. It was common knowledge a prank was abound and to most of the school the marauder pranks were not just infamous, they were legendary. This was of course with the exception of Lily Evans and the entire Slytherin house. However they really needn't have worried, the prank was actually tame for the marauders. This was of course at the insistence of Cassie who stubbornly insisted that it be funny for everyone not just the Gryffindors.

'What about the Slytherins?' James asked skeptically when she insisted on this.

'They're not people. THEY don't count,' she answered dismissivly. Cassie had every reason to hate Slytherins. They constantly informed her that she 'polluted' a pure blood line. Fortunately for them most were smart enough to say this out of earshot of James.

As the school entered the Great Hall they all stared expectantly at the marauders who sat at the very front to the dread of the teachers who stared at them apprehensively. Cassie slammed down beside them much to the delight of the student (the pranks with Cassie were always the best) but Cassie looked murderous.

'I want to do the Slytherin table,' she whispered murderously at James who, after knowing Cassie so long knew only one thing could give her that look, just nodded and passed her the cloak under the table. The Great Hall fell into a hush as Dumbledore stood to face the students.

'Another year has gone! I must trouble you with one last matter before we all consume our delicious feast. The house cup….'

There was a deafening roar from the Gryffindor table and a good deal of cheering from the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. Only the Slytherin table remained stonily silent. A mutual understanding had rose between the three houses in the last couple years that as long as Slytherin didn't win they would all be happy for who did.

Sirius looked at Peter who nodded and the group dispersed; Cassie disappearing under James' invisibility cloak. James positioned himself at the front of the Hufflepuff table while Remus and Sirius did the same for Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Cassie crouched at the front of the Slytherin table still invisible. Peter kept his eyes on the back of the hall.

'Yes, yes,' the headmaster said amusingly. 'The points are thus: In fourth place, Ravenclaw, with three hundred and fifty-two points. In third place, Hufflepuff, with three hundred and eighty-seven points. In second place, Slytherin, with four hundred and twenty two points. And finally, Gryffindor, with four hundred and sixty wins the house cup!'

The deafening roar was nothing compared to the other sudden happenings all over the Great Hall. Five simultaneous spells were shouted with various results. Peter's set off fireworks in the back which spelt out: Gryffindor Wins! The other four stood up and sent their spells down the tables. The Hufflepuff table erupted in gold and black, Ravenclaw in blue and bronze and Gryffindor in red and gold. The Slytherin table however was clad in the colours of all other three houses. All Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors laughed in equal delight at their attire and the Slytherin's. The Slytherins however looked at themselves in disgust and tried, in vain, to change themselves back. A banner unfolded at the front above the head table that read:

The marauders wish you a happy and mischievous summer!

From:

Mssrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

The marauders stood at the front and bowed to the school which only made them laugh harder. Even Dumbledore laughed and James could have sworn he saw McGonagall give a small smile. Cassie then threw off the cloak and shouted cheerfully, 'Sorry, guys looks like I screwed it up.' The marauders laughed as Cassie bowed to the school and the words 'plus Cassie' appeared on the banner.


	3. Of Boys and Girls

A/N: Yipee! My first reviewer! Thanks so much _cosmopolitan_. This chapter is all for you! And the rest of you start reviewing!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing…..still….oh, well….

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Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands  
Good news will work its way to all them plans  
We both got fired on the exactly the same day  
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

And we'll all float on ok  
And we'll all float on ok  
And we'll all float on ok  
And we'll all float on alright  
Already we'll all float on  
Now don't you worry we'll all float on  
Alright already we'll all float on  
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

Float On by: Modest Mouse

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Chapter 1: Of Boys and Girls 

Lily sighed from her seat settling contently for the long train ride home. The girls had been forced to search for another compartment after Lily nearly killed James five minutes after sitting down. Finally they had been reduced to Paige and Cassie forcing Alice and Lily to turn their backs so they could hex a couple Slytherins to get their compartment. Cassie and Alice were now playing a game of Exploding Snap while Paige was immersed in a large dusty book entitled: _A Witch's Guide to Self-Defensive Magic: 101 Curses to Subdue A Man _

Just as Lily started to get relax she heard the compartment door open and turn ready to yell at Potter when she saw the person in the doorway and closed her mouth sheepishly.

'Hey, Mickey.' Marlene McKinnon, better known as Mickey, was also a fifth year but in Ravenclaw. Despite this she was good friends with the girls and they studied together frequently (Ravenclaws were always known for being smart). She had long wavy brown hair to her waist and golden, amber eyes lit with laughter.

'Hi, Lily,' she replied as the others looked up and greeted her. 'Mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full.'

'Sure,' Cassie replied moving over so Mickey could sit between her and Lily. 'You'll never guess what we had to do to get this compartment.'

'Really?' Mickey asked arching one eyebrow at Cassie. 'Does it have anything to do with the three oozing Slytherins just outside the compartment?'

'Perhaps,' Cassie replied an evil grin on her face as Paige snorted from behind her book.

'How did the OWLs go? I never got a chance to ask; everything was so hectic.'

'Smashing…' Paige drawled from behind her book. While the other girls laughed.

'She's just mad because she thinks she failed divination,' Alice answered her soft voice filled with laughter.

'Why?' Mickey asked looking at Paige hidden behind her book.

'She pissed off her examiner,' Cassie replied.

Paige closed her book with a snap and glared at them all. 'If she didn't want a smart ass answer she shouldn't have asked if I thought Divination was funny! Honestly!'

They others burst out laughing again as Paige opened her book and disappeared behind it again. After laughing for a good five minutes Mickey returned to the exams.

'I think I did well,' Lily said thoughtfully. 'Arithmancy wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was and Muggle Studies was nothing of course…'

'Why do you take those classes?' Cassie asked in disbelief looking up from the game as there was a small explosion. 'Arithmancy is dead boring and you're muggle-born!'

'Arithmancy isn't boring,' Alice protested laying down another card. 'It's fascinating but I'm with Cassie on the other one. I mean, it makes sense for me and Paige to take it but you know everything about Muggles.'

'Arithmancy is still nothing compared to MC,' Cassie continued.

'MC?' Mickey asked grinning.

'Care of Magical Creatures,' Lily replied. MC was the only option all girls took together and they all rather enjoyed despite Paige's protests ('Why is it we always smell after this class?') 'I'm not sure about Transfiguration, though…'

Alice, Paige and Cassie all grinned. 'Lils is still upset about _the incident_,' Paige teased finally coming out of her book.

'Speaking of which where are the guys….?'

---------------------------------

'Prongs, mate, you're pathetic.'

James had been staring out the window but Sirius brought his attention back to the compartment. Sirius and Peter had been playing a game of chess but were both looking at him now while Remus was reading. 'Hmm…'

'You have got to get over her, mate. There are plenty of other girls out there. Have a good snog over the summer and you'll be over her in no time.'

'Padfoot,' Remus said looking up from his book. 'Shut up.'

'I'm not going to have a 'good snog' and get over her, Padfoot,' James said angrily reaching over smacking Sirius on the back of the head.  
'Well, at least snog _her_ then,' Sirius stated dodging the book James threw at him. 'Before I do anyway….' He laughed as both Sirius and Remus threw books at him which he skillfully dodged.

A fourth book flew threw the air smacking him in the face. 'I have such abusive friends…'

Remus shook his head at Sirius and shot a look at James. 'Are you okay Prongs?'

'She hates me,' James moaned closing his eyes and leaning back.

'Do you blame her?' Sirius asked curiously as Remus also answered, 'She doesn't hate you.'

'Really?' James asked in disbelief sitting up and opening his eyes then made a face, 'She sure acts like it….'

'And you,' Remus said exasperatedly said lowering his book. 'Act like a conceited prat but you aren't.'

'You sure about that one, Moony?' Sirius asked turning back to the game.

James sighed and leaned back again. "She is just so….'

---------------------------------

'…pathetic. Absolutely pathetic,' Lily said on one of her rants about James.

'Oh, god,' the other four girls moaned.

'Shut it, Lily,' Paige ordered eyes narrowed. 'Or I'll puke all over you.'

The other girls laughed but Lily just huffed and glared at Paige. 'You complain about Potter all the time!'

'I don't,' Paige answered calmly. 'He's too good at Quidditch for me to hate him.'

Cassie laughed hysterically at the affronted look on Lily's face. After a minute her laughter subsided and she just grinned as she said, 'He really is good at Quidditch, Lily.'

Lily continued to frown as though his being good at Quidditch juts added to his criminality. Paige rolled her eyes and continued to read while Alice frowned thoughtfully. 'Your too hard on him, Lily,' she finally concluded turning back to the game and getting her eyebrows singed slightly as a reward.

'I am _not!_' Lily protested. 'It's just annoying because…'

'He's smart, funny, brilliant…' Mickey teased.

'And an amazing Chaser.' Cassie added grinning.

'No! I mean…well….he is a good chaser… but he's a bully!'

'Right, Lily' Alice muttered tiredly. 'Because him beating you in Transfiguration means he's an idiot.'

'He's smart! Fine! But he is a bully and… he should… he's better then…'

'Lily!' Cassie shouted gleefully. 'Were you about to say he's better then that!'

'No! No, I was not!'

'Yes you were,' Paige stated grinning. 'You _so_ were!'

'Shut it!' Lily shouted, fighting to keep a strait face. 'Just because _you _have a huge crush on….'

---------------------------------

'Moony!' Sirius shouted, grabbing his book out of his hands. 'Pay attention! _We_, meaning you, are planning a prank.'

'The back to school prank is 6 weeks from now! Now give me my book back,' Remus grabbed the book out of his hands and hitting him over his head with it.

'Awww… Moony!'

James and Peter laughed while Remus glared at Sirius despite having his book back. James looked out the window and grinned to himself loving his friends' banter. He turned away from the window and narrowed his eyes spotting a discarded _Daily Prophet _under the bench Remus and Peter sat on. James bent over and pulled it out from under the seat.

James' smile disappeared from his face as he read the front page. His face got increasingly hard as he read and finally noticed his friends staring at him.

'What's up?' Remus asked his eyes flicking from James' face and the paper and back again.

'Nothing,' James said quickly trying to shove the paper out of the way but Remus grabbed it. He scanned the title then tried to hide it as well only to have Sirius grab it. Sirius read the page his face darkened.

'That is just….'

---------------------------------

'…nauseous. Physically nauseous.' Cassie muttered as five girls leaned over the paper. On the page was a wizard photo of a snake protruding from the mouth of a skull better known as the Dark Mark under a headline that read: _You-Know-Who Strikes Again. _

Cassie glared at the paper leaning back and crossing her arms with a scowl. 'All this _You-Know-Who _crap; it's disgusting.'

'He's evil, Cass. No one wants to say his name if they can't help it,' Mickey said shuddering.

'It's stupid,' Cassie insisted.

'It increases fear,' Paige commented disgusted. 'People are afraid to say the name and it increases his persona. We give him power.'

'Disgusting…' Lily muttered leaning back too. 'Damn Voldemort…'

'Damn mildew…' Paige muttered lighting the paper on fire with her wand. The girls shared a glanced and burst out laughing. In their third year, right after Voldemort had first appeared, Paige had been on a rant about the ridiculousness of his name Cassie had wondered in and said: _'Voldemort? What the hell is that some kind of mildew?'_ Since then all it took had been any mention of mildew to make all four girls to burst out laughing.

'Hey!' Alice called out standing and peering out the window. 'We've arrived!'

---------------------------------

'Andromeda?' The boys were all on the platform when Sirius spotted his favourite cousin. He dropped his suitcase (on Peter) he ran forwards and gave her a hug. James came over and also hugged Andromeda then leaned down and picked up the small girl by her side.

'Hey Nymphie,' James said fondly looking down at the three year old.

'Jamsie!' she shrieked happily closing her eyes and wrinkled her eyes as her hair turned bright blue. James laughed and turned to Sirius who was talking with his cousin.

'How's Ted?' Sirius asked his voice low and concerned. James bite his lip and shooting a glance at Sirius walked back with Nymph so Remus could say hi. Andromeda knew what kind of trouble Sirius would be in if his parents knew she was talking with her. If she was here it was for a reason and most of the time the reasons were not meant for a three year old.

'Worried,' Andromeda replied her eyes on James' back. 'We all are.'

'Ted will be fine.'

'We're not worried about him,' Andromeda said slowly her eyes moving to his face.

'I'll be fine.'

'Sirius….'

'I'll be fine,' Sirius repeated through clenched teeth.

'Sirius, whether you or I like it or not they are our family. It makes us targets; I want you to be safe.'

'I said I'll be fine didn't I?'

'You lie Sirius. This is a trait we share and it means you can't fool me,' she leaned forward looking around. 'Just promise me you'll lay low.'

'Lay low?' Sirius questioned in disbelief. 'I don't exactly jump around shouting 'Look at me!' all summer. How much lower can I get?'

Andromeda's eyes flashed with anger and she reached over and grabbed the front of Sirius' shirt pulling him towards her. 'Let's make this clear, Sirius. I do _not_ want to read in the _Daily Prophet _that you've gone and gotten yourself killed.'

Sirius pried her hand off his shirt looking into her eyes. 'If I'm a target it's done already and nothing I do is going to change that. You should look after yourself and Nymph and stop worrying about me.'

Andromeda bite her lip looking miserable, 'You know that if I could take you away….'

'I know,' Sirius said gravely. 'Now please just go before you make it worse. I'll write if I can.'

She nodded slowly as tears filled her eyes then went and took Nymph from James. With a last nod she was gone.

James said bye to Remus and Peter whose parents were already there and walked back to Sirius. They both stared at the same wall for a minute then still not looking at Sirius, James said, 'What did she say?'

'That I'm loud, obnoxious and going to get myself killed.'

'Sirius? Are you sure you want to do this?'

'I don't have a choice, James.'

'Sirius….'

'Just leave it.' Sirius stiffened as his parents walked through the wall to Kings Cross. 'Bye, James.'

Sirius walked forward to greet his parents as his brother came forward. Regulus was in third year and had all the qualities of a Black: manipulation, deceit and a hatred for his brother. Sirius' mother glared at him for a minute then reached forward clamping her hand on Sirius' shoulder and walking him out. With one last glance over his shoulder James' best friend was gone.

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A/N: Kind of depressing I know. It'll be better I swear but let's face the facts Sirius' life is kind of depressing. 


	4. Home Sweet Home

A/N: Yes! Another reviewer! Thank you _Freja Lercke-Falkenborg! _You are right about the detail however about the names I think they would want everyone to know. The got caught too many times too have just been poor planning; I think the probably wanted everyone to know when they did a prank. Remember that they're obnoxiously arrogant to the point of lovable. Anyways thanks!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing…. But it's not for a lack of trying.

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Fate fell short this time  
Your smile fades in the summer  
Place your hand in mine  
I'll leave when I wanna

This place was never the same again  
After you came and went  
How could you say you meant anything different to anyone  
Standing alone on the street with a cigarette on the first night  
we met  
Look to the past and remember and smile  
And maybe tonight I can breath for a while  
I'm not in this scene I think I'm falling asleep  
But then all that it means is I'll always be dreaming of you

**Feeling This by Blink 182**

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Chapter 4: Home Sweet Home

Paige stepped out of the cab and sighed. For a long time after the cab drove off she stood, her trunk on one side, her trusty owl: Caerphilly on the other, and stared at the house in front of her. Her home. Unfortunately.

Sighing again she picked up her trunk and Caerphilly's cage and plodded into the house. She opened the door and immediately knew something was wrong. Her parents were having a shouting match in the living room. Paige dropped her stuff carelessly by the door and ran into the room. The place was a mess; broken glass covered the floor and a trail of blood led out of the room.

'Where's Matt?' Paige shouted in panic but both her parents ignored her. Making a disgusted noise she sped out of the room while pulling her wand out of her back pocket. After a few minutes she found him huddled in a corner of her room, whimpering quietly to himself. Paige sat down beside her brother and pulled him onto her lap.

Matthew looked just like her; he had the same jet black hair and ice blue eyes. He was 11 but was small for his age, just like she was before her growth spurt a couple years ago. His hands were cut up and bleeding but luckily there was no glass.

'I broke something,' he whimpered letting her take his hands in hers. She took her wand and tapped it twice on his cuts. The wounds healed themselves and Paige pulled him closer to her trying hard not think about the warning letter for underage magic she would be receiving soon.

'Where's Aunt Jessie?'

'She went to get groceries,' he answered his voice trembling less. 'Mom had another sick spell.'

'I know, Matt,' Paige said. 'She'll be fine soon.'

'She was yelling at me and then Dad got mad at her.'

'Hey,' Paige said making him face her. 'That wasn't Mom. That was her disease. Remember?'

Matt nodded and pulled himself out of her lap. They both stood and Matt wandered over to the window. 'Will I get to go to Hogwarts like you, Paige?'

Paige bit her lip wondering what to say. 'I don't know, Mattie. I hope you do.' He kept staring out the window but his expression changed a smile appearing on his face. 'Aunt Jessie's back.'

'Good,' Paige said letting out a breath of relief, glad the conversation about Hogwarts was over. 'I think Dad's got Mom calm. Why don't you go help put the groceries away?'

'Okay,' he answered brightly already forgetting his tears as he left the room.

Paige took his place at the window with a sigh. She had been home five minutes and already wanted to go back to Hogwarts. She wished her brother could go with her but she didn't dare hope. Often she thought of things that might have been Matt using magic but she also thought that might just be her wishing it was true. With Muggle-borns it varied; Paige knew Lily's sister wasn't magical. She really wished Mattie was though.

With another sigh she leaned on the window sill. _I wonder how Lily's homecoming went……_

------------------------

'Lillian Marie Evans! Get down here right now!'

Lily cringed as her sister's obnoxious voice rang through the house and wondered what she had done 'wrong' this time. In the hour she was home her sister had already taken offense with her pet owl, her wand, her books, her clothes and…well to be honest she stopped listening after that.

Her parents were proud of her being a witch. The whole ride home she was questioned about her exams, her friends, who won the house cup….. all kinds of things. Of course the second she walked in the door her sister had found a way to express her disgust at Lily's 'abnormality' as she called it.

Normally this didn't bother her. Petunia had always been a prat and Lily was proud of being a witch no matter what anyone said. It was rather annoying though to have her full name, her disgustingly proper full name, shouted through the house every five minutes.

Lily sighed in resignation and thundered down the stairs to find her sister holding a pot out away from her looking alarmed. She had the lid firmly shut over it and Lily could hear frantic hooting from inside the pot.

'Petunia!' she gasped shocked. 'Let that owl out of that pot!' With this Lily lunged forward grabbing the pot from Petunia and peering inside. 'Dai!' she shouted alarmed and let the poor spotted owl out. Dai landed on her shoulder and gave an indignant hoot. Lily could have sworn Dai was glaring at Petunia. Normally she would have laughed at Cassie's bird's unusual behavior but the fact the Petunia had been trying to suffocate the bird seconds before made it less amusing.

Lily glared at her sister and said in a low threatening voice, 'Petunia get out now or I'll hex you.'

'You wouldn't,' Petunia whispered shocked.

'Yes I would,' Lily said stubbornly pulling her wand out of her back pocket and pointing it at her sister. 'Hocus Pocus! Squiggly Wiggly!'

Petunia tore out of the room as fast she could and an evil grin spread across Lily's face. She turned back to the owl who stuck out her leg hooting happily now that her attempted murderer was out of the room. After taking the letter Lily lowered Dai on the table where the gorgeous owl instantly began to eat Petunia's breakfast.

Lily smoothed out the parchment and instantly recognized the curly handwriting as Cassie's:

_LILIAN MARIE EVANS!_ (Lily cringed)

_I have been home half an hour and James is going on about you already! I swear if that boy doesn't shut up soon I'm going to hit him over the head with my broomstick. _

_Hope your having a good holiday and that Petunia isn't bothering you too much. I've already heard from Alice because we have to go visit some cousins of ours. The dad's a little odd but they're nice and they have the cutest little boys. The younger one is three and I'm teaching him to ride a broom. His mother doesn't seem too happy about it though. _

_Anyways I haven't heard from Paige yet. I hope her arrival went alright. I'll call you later and good luck with your OWL results!_

_Cheers! Cassie!_

Lily smiled amazed that her friend would feel it's necessary to write her a letter after only an hour or so of not seeing each other. After a minute she scribbled a reply on a piece of paper and sent Dai on her way. Lily grinned down at letter and shoved it in her back pocket feeling this summer was going to be great.

----------------------

In contrast to Lily's optimistic feelings about the summer, Remus Lupin was positive that this summer was going to be his worst yet. He had gotten so used to having the others with him that he knew his next couple transformations were going to be horrible.

Remus was sitting in his room trying to avoid his parents. They really did try to be understanding of his 'condition' but occasionally he caught them looking at him as though he was something scary and dangerous. It was easier just to stay in his room. He was fairly certain that this summer was a record: It had only been one day and he had already hidden himself in his room.

Remus sighed and removed a book from the pile beside his bed. He had disappeared behind it for only a few seconds when he heard the doorbell ring from downstairs.

After snapping his book shut he wandered down stairs and opened the door wondering who on earth would want to come to his house. After opening it Remus stood and stared in shock. A large rangy man with matting grey hair stood at the door staring around the inside with vindictive looking curiosity.

'Who are you?' Remus asked glaring suspiciously at the stranger who finally turned his attention to Remus, a creepy smile spreading across his face.

'I'm looking for Mr. Lupin,' he said his smile getting even wider.

'Well he's out right now,' Remus said shortly attempting to close the door. The man pushed the door back open and peered at Remus questioningly. Then his face lit up in recognition and he grinned in the most malicious way.

'You must be his son then.' Realizing how stupid it had been for him to have opened the door in the first place Remus dropped his book to the ground and pulled his wand out of his pocket. The man grinned and walked into the house as Remus slowly backed away. 'We met once though I'm sure you don't remember it. You were quite young and I looked verydifferent then I do now.' He laughed hollowly and continued to advance on Remus who was running out of room to back up with. 'I'm sure our meeting _affected _you greatly.' Remus felt his blood run cold and a look of horror appear on his face. The man laughed and stopped as Remus' back hit the wall.

'Perhaps if your father does not offendme too greatly this time it won't have the same results.' Remus felt paralyzed. Ever since he was bitten he had felt sorry for the person who did it. He pitied them, knowing what it was like to transform; to lose yourself once a month. But to find out someone did it on purpose….. All because his father _offended _him…..

Remus brought his wand up and pointed it directly at his face. Twelve years of pain and fear pounded in his ears. All he wanted to do was hurt him so horribly he wouldn't be able to move for weeks.

'Remus?' He look around the man to see his father looking alarmed. Slowly he lowered his wand and…. Punched the man who bite him, who caused him so much pain, right in the face.

No one would know it from looking at him but Remus was actually very strong. Perhaps it was because he was a werewolf but if he decided to punch someone it usually hurt quite a bit. Which was why he was not surprised when the man doubled over in pain.

Remus raced past him, shoved past his father and sped out the door thinking to himself: _How can this holiday possibly get any worse………_

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A/N: Poor Remus…. You're a marauder! Of course it will get worse! Well…. I didn't know it would end like that but I kinda like it. Awesome! Next up, Sirius runs away…. 


	5. My July

A/N: Hurray! Thanks for your review _Secret World! _See how easy it is to review people: you just press that little button at the bottom of the page and use those funny things on your keyboard to create words and sentences; perhaps even an idea. (Wow! That was a lot of sarcasm even for me…) Anyways, I bet most of you don't even read these things so why bother? And yet I keep typing….. Oh well, continue to ignore me….. I'm used to it….

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Disclaimer: I own squat, zip, nada, zilch….. now if I only had a time turner……. Then it would all be mine! (laughs evilly and falls off chair) Ouch….

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And I  
Just wish that  
I didn't feel  
Like there was  
Something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the  
Things I said to you

And I give it all away  
Just to have somewhere  
To go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone  
To come home to

This is my December  
These are my snow covered dreams  
This is me pretending  
This is all I need

**My December By: Linken Park

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**

Chapter 5: My July (A/N: If you don't get it try actually reading the top part, lazy bugger)

Sirius was attempting, without much success, to finish a letter that he didn't really want to write in the first place. He did say he would write but he was really writing because he knew it would piss off his mother; a feeling he was trying to not convey, again without much success, in his letter.

The object of his ranting was calling his name up the stairs at the moment and he was trying his best to pretend he couldn't hear her. He considered it a miracle he could hear at all anyways, what with her obnoxious shriek he was subjected to every holiday. He supposed he was a medical miracle that way.

Finally after it became apparent his mother was not going to stop calling him until he made an appearance he reluctantly stood and turned towards the door. In afterthought he swept back his right hand and spilt his ink bottle all over the letter, making it unreadable; it wasn't that good a letter anyways and he didn't want to get caught with it.

Sirius walked lazily down the stairs as he put on his _'I don't give a little tiny rat's ass' _expression. After living with his family for sixteen years he had perfected it; which was a little sad. At the bottom of the stairs though, he received a shock.

A person stood at the bottom of the stairs. They had long light blond hair, cold grey eyes and a pale pointed face. This person, however, was not a women; he was in fact a man by the name of Lucius Malfoy.

On his arm was one of Sirius' cousins: Narcissa Black. She had smooth blond hair, soft blue eyes and a particular dislike for discord.

Sirius sighed knowing he would have to play nice; Narcissa was not as cruel as her older sister Bellatrix and, unlike most of his family, actually had honor. He was certainly not his favourite cousin, being as prejudiced as the rest of his family, but she acted civilly to him. In turn he did the same for her.

'Hey, Cissy,' he greeted completely ignoring the man at her side. She looked at him disapprovingly and made a small head gesture as if to say: _Behave!_ Sirius side again and turned to the man, 'Malfoy.'

'Ah, yes…. the little blood traitor,' Malfoy sneered looking at him as though he was a peculiarly nasty substance on the bottom of his shoe; not that any nasty substance would ever dare appear on the shoe of a Malfoy.

Sirius glanced at his cousin who was squirming uncomfortably; clearly torn between her loyalty to her boyfriend and her dislike of conflict. For her sake he would be civil; she never was completely comfortable insulting him and she really wasn't comfortable with Andromeda's disownment. She was loyal if nothing else; which was probably good because she had nothing else.

'And to what do we owe the pleasure?' Sirius asked trying very hard to keep his voice free of sarcasm.

'Her cousin is engaged.' Sirius spun at the voice to see his mother standing beside him. Her skin was yellowing and creased a permanent look of distaste etched into her face. Sirius was reasonably sure she always looked like she did now or at least that was the only way he ever remembered her being. 'I expect you to show some congratulations to your first cousin to become engaged.'

Sirius glared at the ground annoyed and muttered to himself, 'Second, you mean….'

'What was that?'

Sirius took a deep breath and looked directly into his mother's eyes. He heard Cissy moan behind him but ignored it. 'My second cousin to be engaged, you mean.'

'I was unaware your cousin Bellatrix was engaged,' she argued glaring at him as though daring him to argue in front of a guest. A dare he took; Malfoy wasn't much of a guest anyways. 'The last time I checked I had three cousins.'

'Perhaps you should check again.' Sirius stared determinedly at the floor. He was going to regret this later. Still staring at the floor between his shoes he mumbled, 'Just because you refuse to recognize she exists doesn't mean all of us do….'

'You,' his mother reminded him. 'are meant to uphold the beliefs of the heads of this family. Your cousin has been disowned; she is no longer apart of this family.'

Sirius remained stonily silent. After a minute he looked up cautiously to see his mother still glaring at him. 'Are you not going to apologize?'

Sirius took a deep breath then rushed on knowing he would most defiantly regret this later. 'No.'

'Excuse me?'

'I will not apologize! Andromeda was one of the only decent ones in this damn family! You can't just erase her! Andromeda was brave not going into Slytherin and I hope Nymph won't either!' Sirius' eyes widened as he realized his mistake and backed up. His mother had never told him about Nymph. She was born in his third year and he ran into Andromeda pregnant in Hogsmeade. Ever since they stayed in contact but his family didn't know that. Until now.

'Nymph?' Cissy was staring at Sirius oddly. 'Who's Nymph?' Sirius looked back from her to his mother nervously. He was already screwed into the ground, so, why not? 'Nymph is Andromeda's daughter.'

'Andy had a daughter!' Cissy glared at her aunt. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'The Black family will never recognize a filthy half-blood as part of our noble line. Her mother has polluted our family. You need to respect the family's decision.' Cissy hung her head, always the dutiful niece, and muttered an apology. Sirius' mother rounded on him as she pulled out her wand.His back slammed into the wall behind him and found himself stuck there as his mother advanced on him still holding out her wand. 'How did you know?'

'…..'

Mrs. Black cast another wordless spell and Sirius squirmed in pain after a minute he gasped and shouted, 'I've talked to her! Alright? I've talked to her and Nymph!'

'When did this start? How many times have you seen her?'

'Right before she had Nymph!' Sirius shouted squirming trying to get away from the pain. Black spots were appearing in his vision. 'I don't know how many times!'

'When was the last time you saw the disgrace?'

Sirius didn't answer and he felt himself fall to the ground; the pain gone. Not believing it was over he stayed on all fours breathing hard.

'When!'

A gash appeared across Sirius' chest and he gasped in pain. 'Leave her alone! She left! Just leave her alone!'

'When!' Another wave of pain swept over him and he writhed on the floor. He was going to pass out soon at this rate. 'Fine! I'll tell you!'

The pain was gone again and Sirius glared up at his mother resentfully, 'When I got of the Hogwarts express.'

The pain returned worse now and he thrashed on the floor his breath caught in his chest. He heard a voice from a great distance shout out and the pain stopped. Cissy was bending over him, though he could barely see her. Cissy backed away hurriedly and Sirius slammed into the wall again. 'What did she say?'

'Nothing!'

Finally Sirius couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't tell his mother about Andromeda; he didn't want her or Nymph hurt but he couldn't take this much longer. Slowly he pulled out his wand out of his pocket….

---------------------------

James Potter was very worried. It was two weeks into his holidays and neither he nor Cassie had heard from Sirius or Remus. Cassie had heard from Lily and Paige and both of them had seen Alice but…. He was still worried. It wasn't like Sirius, or Remus, to not write for two weeks. As mean as it seemed, James was more worried about Sirius then Remus. Remus could take care of himself better. Sirius was the kind of friend where it wasn't safe to leave them alone when they were upset. It wasn't safe for them anyways.

James had just said goodbye to Cass and was now sitting in his living room. His house was really quite large; having plenty of extra bedrooms and a large Quidditch pitch in the back yard. James sighed wondering if he should go see Sirius. It wasn't a particularly good idea; he was a known blood traitor after all. He wasn't going to let Cassie go that's for sure.

He heard the doorbell ring and jolted his hand immediately going for his wand. No one could ever be sure if anything was safe these days. James scowled and laughed quietly to himself. Death Eaters don't ring doorbells; do they? Ignoring his indecision he stood and walked into the dark hall.

James probably should wake up his mom but her couldn't bring himself to do it. Mrs. Potter was an auror, a dark wizard catcher, and she had just gotten off an eighteen hour shift. So, James against all better judgment opened the door.

Well, it wasn't a Death Eater. Sirius was slumped in the doorway, bleeding from a deep gash in his chest. He started to fall but James caught him coming out of his shock. Supporting his friend he half-carried, half-dragged him into the house yelling frantically for his mom before shoving Sirius, blood and all, on the couch he had been sitting on earlier.

James' mother rushed into the room, still in her pajamas and crouched next to the couch beside her son. Mrs. Potter had some medical experience from being an auror and within seconds the gash was healed and she gently lifted his eye lid and used her wand to check his reflexes. She le out a sigh and lowered her wand then turned to her son who was looking at Sirius worried. 'He'll be fine. He just needs to rest.'

'You're sure?' James asked looking at his mother now. 'What's wrong with him?'

'Among other things, he was put under the Cruciatus curse. His body's in shock. He needs to sleep it off then he'll be fine.' James stood, running his hand nervously through his hair. Then he turned towards the fireplace grabbing a handful of Floo powder tossing it into the fire. 'Cassie!' he called into the fire. 'Sirius is here, come over!' There was silence for a minute then James scrambled back as Cassie come out of the fireplace looking thoroughly worried.

She saw Sirius on the couch and immediately raced to his side. James come over and knelt down beside her putting a hand on her shoulder as he explained what happened. Cassie looked at James her eyes slightly red and he stood backing away to give them space. Cassie turned back a look of determination on her face and kissed him passionately. Sirius eyes flew open and within seconds he was kissing her back.

'Ummm…. Ew!' Cassie and Sirius broke apart and both looked a James who was standing with his hands in his pockets looking extremely awkward. Cassie laughed and Sirius looked at James sheepishly. James just shook his grinning ruefully and said, 'I knew it was going to happen sometime but no snogging in front of me, alright? Cass is like my little sister.'

Sirius just grinned wider and pulled Cassie in for another kiss. James made a disgusted noise and left the room with his mom, who was still thinking about Sirius. Little did she know James was thinking the same thing: What had happened to Sirius?

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Wow! I hope that was okay. PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE! 


	6. Alice in Diagon Alley

A/N: Thank you reviewers: _Cosmopolitan, __harry-an-ginny _and _Ali _for your happy feedback. The rest of you start reviewing! Sorry I haven't updated though. I just started back school from Easter so I was busy. I'll try to update more!

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Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter would I be doing non-profit fan fiction? I don't thinks so!

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I fell in love with the girl at the rock show  
She said "what?" and I told her that I didn't know  
She's so cool, better sneak in through her window  
Everything's better when she's around  
Can't wait until her parents go out of town  
I fell in love with the girl at the rock show

Black and white picture of her on my wall  
I waited for her call, she always kept me waiting  
And if I ever got another chance I'd still ask her to dance  
Because she kept me waiting

** The Rock Show by: Blink 182

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**

Chapter 6: Alice in Diagon Alley

Alice was sitting by herself at a table just outside Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. She sighed dejectedly wishing that her friends were with her but they all seemed preoccupied lately. She hadn't heard from Paige since their Hogwarts letters arrived (her brother managed to get in apparently). Cassie was busy snogging her new boy friend. Sirius was busy snogging Cassie. Lily had 'accidentally' turned her sister into a toad and was under lockdown by her parents. James was busy entertaining his new house guests: Sirius and some other girl who was staying with them. Even Remus hadn't been heard from in weeks. Actually now that she thought about it she hadn't heard from him at all this summer.

She had just finished a full day of shopping and was now extremely bored. Even her coming NEWT classes couldn't comfort her. She had managed to get the OWLs she needed for being an auror. It was the only thing she wanted to do and she knew her friends wanted to too. Damn friends. Now with only a week left she just wished that someone, anyone, even Peter for god sakes would come by and say-

'Hi.' Alice turned around quickly and blushed furiously at who she saw there. It was most defiantly not Peter Pettigrew.

Frank Longbottom stood looking somewhat awkward but incredibly good looking at the same time. Frank was a year above her but also in Gryffindor and on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He was also very smart and apparently wanted to be an Auror. All of this though was not as important as Alice's extremely obvious crush on him.

'Hi Frank,' Alice replied cursing herself inwardly for not being more interesting. Frank looked around then cleared his throat, 'Do mind if I sit here? I..I mean… It's just…. There aren't any other tables…. So…'

Alice raised one eyebrow slightly but smiled and nodded choosing not to mention the fact that there were at least a dozen empty tables around her. Frank sat still looking awkward and there was a short uncomfortable silence then frank cleared his throat again, 'So…. Why are you here alone?'

'I had to get my school stuff and all my friends have abandoned me,' Alice joked not caring that she couldn't come with her friends anymore. 'What about you?'

Frank shrugged, 'Friends are busy so I was looking for something to do.'

'I see,' Alice said still smiling slightly. There was another awkward silence and then Frank smiled, 'You had your OWLs last year right? How did you do?'

Alice smile grew wider and she thought happily about her results, 'Great! I got nine OWLs! I only failed History of Magic and who cares about that anyways?'

'Not me,' Frank replied with a laugh. 'I got a D on that.'

'A D? How did you manage that?' Alice asked amazed.

'I fell asleep in the exam.' Alice burst out laughing and frank looked indignant. 'Hey! I still made head boy!'

'That's great, Frank. Congratulations!'

'Thanks. I still can't believe it.'

'Do you know who the Head Girl is?' Alice asked curiously.

'No. I just hope it's not a Slytherin,' Alice laughed lightly and grinned. 'You and every other Gryffindor.'

'What NEWTs are you taking?' Frank asked.

'Well… Charms, DADA, Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration,' Alice answered counting off her classes with her fingers. 'And Muggle Studies and MC.'

'MC?'

'Care of Magical Creatures,' Alice answered smiling. 'Cassie bullied us all into taking it so we have on option the same.'

'I took OWL _MC_ (Alice grinned at his emphasis on the phrase) but not a NEWT. What are you planning on doing after Hogwarts?'

'Auror,' Alice replied promptly. 'You want to as well, right?'

'Never wanted to do anything else.'

'Same.'

Frank grinned back at her and looked down at his watch. 'Shoot! It's already five. I have to go!'

Frank got up and, after a second of hesitation, Alice stood grabbing her bags. 'I should go too.'

The both started off to the Leaky Cauldron to Floo back to their houses in silence. After a minute glancing at Alice out of the corner of his eyes he said, 'So, suppose your friends abandon you again at school?'

'Why would they do that?' Alice asked lightly.

'Well, suppose they were eaten by a giant plant….' Alice laughed lightly at the horrible reason and said with fake indignation, 'Hey, I like Herbology!'

'Well then I suppose I'll have to put more effort into it then,' Frank said slyly making Alice blush. 'So anyways… Suppose they abandon you on the first Hogsmeade weekend…. Would you like to go with me?'

Alice looked at Frank, still blushing furiously, as they entered the Leaky Cauldron. 'I would like that.'

'Good,' Frank said blushing just as red then smiled at her and turned towards the fireplace. With a roar of fire and a shout he was gone. Alice smiled to herself mentally thanking her friends for having lives.

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A/N: Oh and just a note on Peter: He won't be in this a lot because I hate him and if I do everything around my computer will be broken into tiny, little pieces. Hope you don't mind and I will have when and why he becomes a traitor. Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeeeee review for me! 


	7. Bring it on, Hat!

A/N: I am so sorry! Please forgive me! I just have a ot of test this week and it was my birthday (Yah! Silent Hill and Advent Children rock!) so I couldn't update try not to hate me too much! I will try to update more often.

**Review Responses:**

**Unknown- **thanx!

**ems25- **thank you too! I really wanted to get Sirius' life down so I'm glad to see someone that I did.

**Hermione-lilypotter1234-** thank you so much!

**Francesca Jirak- **thanks and I will include Peter just not a lot because he's a slimy git who SHOULD BURN IN HELL! Anywho, I hold you to your promise to review! Even though there's no possible way I can…

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Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, main characters would not be dropping dead every May or June for no apparent reason. What's with that anyways?

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To you  
I'm all I've left undone  
I'm all I haven't won  
Lift me up my soul's so hollow  
Lift me up

You take  
The breath you didn't make  
What's left you did forsake  
Lift me up my soul's so hollow  
Lift me up my soul's so hollow

You can make me scream internally  
You can make me breathe eternally

**Hollow by Submersed

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**

Chapter 7: Bring It On, Hat 

Lily heaved her trunk through the barrier glaring at it resentfully. After over a month of non-contact with the wizarding world she was eager to return to Hogwarts. Honestly! She hadn't meant to transfigure her sister! None of it would have happened if Petunia wasn't such a prat anyways! Lily irritably looked around for her friends then did a double take a slow smile spreading across her face.

A girl stood in front of her mockingly striking a model pose. Her black hair came down to just below her shoulders curling softly were it used to be perfectly strait. There were new red streaks in her hair and her face was prettily flushed.

'Paige!' Lily shrieked running towards her friend gripping her in a tight hug. 'You look amazing!'

'Thanks, Lil,' Paige said pushing her friend off her lightly. Lily snorted at her friend's discomfort and pulled her into another hug which Paige hesitantly returned. Paige pulled out of the hug after a moment and pulled at the shirt of the boy next to her forcing him to face Lily.

'Hi, Matt! You got into Hogwarts then did you?'

'Yup! And I'm going to be in Gryffindor and be at the top of all my classes and..' Matt kept talking about everything he wanted to achieve at Hogwarts as Lily turned to Paige one eyebrow raised. 'Okay, when did you introduce him to Potter?'

'I don't know what you're talking about, Lily,' Paige commented lightly, looking around for someone.

'Paige?'

'Yes, Lily?' Lily just gave her the patented 'Lily Evans' look and Paige sighed turning back to Lily. 'We stayed at Cassie's for a week, okay? It's not my fault James lives next to her. Now are we getting on the train because he will most likely keep talking until we do…?' Paige gestured at her brother who was indeed still talking.

After finding a compartment of first years for Matt to sit in (First years hand picked by Paige, Lily noticed) they walked up the train until they came to a compartment where Cassie was busy in a corner snogging….Sirius?

'They've bin at it all summer.' Lily turned to the opposite side of the compartment to see James sitting back mildly disgusted at the scene in front of him.

Lily scowled at him and sat beside the snogging couple while Paige shot a jet of water at them from her wand. The couple broke apart, dripping wet, and grinning sheepishly. Seemingly satisfied the couple was suitably cooled down Paige sat down next to James stilling glaring disdainfully at the couple across from her.

The group lapsed into an awkward silence until-BAM! The door burst open revealing a extremely disgruntled looking Remus. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it at the sight of Lily and Paige. He scowled and sat between James and Paige completely uncaring of the curious look his friends gave him.

'So… How was your summer, Evans?' James asked looking away from Remus still clearly puzzled. Lily raised her eyebrows in surprise flushing furiously at the answer.

'Oh it was smashing,' Paige commented dryly. Cassie laughed lightly laying down and resting her head on Sirius' lap. 'Our Little Miss Prefect over here was under lock and key most of the summer.'

'Really? Why?'

'I wouldn't ask,' Paige answered disappearing under her book (Becoming Invisible: Disguising Yourself To Save Your Life) after tearing her gaze away from Remus. 'But let's just say that apparently parents don't like it when you transfigure your siblings without permission.'

'You did what!' James asked a look of delight on his face. Lily blushed even more furiously and mumbled incoherently to herself. James laughed happily but stopped as the door opened once again.

Alice stood a brilliant grin on her face in the doorway. She brightly greeted everyone and sat between Cassie and Lily. Cassie gave her a mildly annoyed look then brightened drastically and draped her legs across Alice's lap resuming her position. Alice just laughed at her friends antics and turned to the others, 'How was everyone's vacations?'

'Good,' Paige answered distractedly looking up from her book for just a second before looking down again. Her eyes widened slightly then she shut her book with a snap and turned to Alice very business like, 'So… Who is he, then?'

'No one!' Alice answered a little too quickly. Paige narrowed her eyes slightly as though calculating something then nodded to herself as she came to her conclusion. 'If you don't tell me I'll let Lily and Cassie at you,' Paige threatened lightly gesturing to the other girls who were looking at Alice intently.

'You wouldn't,' Alice whispered horrified. The Cassie and Lily interrogations were something of a legend. Paige just raised one eyebrow lightly and began opening her book. 'Alright! Alright! Frank Longbottom!'

Paige nodded satisfied and opened her book again. Lily and Cassie squealed simultaneously (the boys covered their ears grimacing) and began regaling her with questions.

'When?'

'How?'

'What happened?'

'He asked her out and she said yes but they didn't kiss.' Everyone turned and stared atPaige as she continued to read apparently oblivious to everything around her.

'How do you do that?' Alice asked.

Paige just turned a page and smiled slightly to herself, 'Magic!'

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Several hours later Lily, Paige, Alice and Cassie sat in a carriage on the way up to Hogwarts. To everyone's surprise (including hers) Lily had sat in a compartment with James for the entire train ride and had refrained from killing him.

Alice was staring out the window and sighed drawing the others' attention to her. 'Just two more years…'

All four girls stared out the window up at the castle, 'Remember when we saw it for the first time?' Cassie asked wistfully as the other girls nodded.

**FLASH**

_Lily and Cassie sat in the front of the boat with Paige and Alice behind them. Cassie was leaning half out of the boat dragging her hands along the surface of the water. Lily grinned at her new friend and turned around to talk to Alice and Paige when a voice called out: 'Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec. Jus' round this bend here.' All three let out a loud: Ooohhh! And Lily smacked Cassie who looked up grinning like mad. They had saw anything more beautiful in their life. And they never would. _

**FLASH**

They all grinned reminiscently as the carriage pulled to a stop. They climbed out and walked around the front; Cassie patting a spot of thin air as she passed. They got to the Gryffindor table without incident when suddenly an idea occurred to Lily.

'Hey, guys?' Lily asked as they sat down. 'Do you remember our sorting?'

'I'm not telling you, Lily.'

Paige and Alice grinned at each other. Cassie was notorious for being stubborn and she felt a person's conversation with the Sorting Hat was private, really private, keep-it-a-secret-for-six-years-physically-abuses-people-when-they-ask private.

'You told Potter!' Lily protested still scandalized.

'Drop it, Lils!'

'Guys!' Alice intervened. 'How about next year on the way to school we tell everyone our Sorting stories, kay?'

Both girls nodded reluctantly, although for totally different reasons, and turned towards the Sorting.

'McAdams, Matthews!'

Paige grinned proudly at her brother as he ran up to the Sorting Hat and jammed it on his head. After a minute the brim opened and shouted: _'Gryffindor!'_ Paige jumped up and clapped loudly. The girls waited a little longer and then:

'Porter, Charlotte!'

A young girl stepped forward making a face at the use of her full name. She was small but still a bit bigger then Matt. She had curly dark brown hair and big amber eyes over a small ski jumped noise sprinkled in freckles. She waved over at the Gryffindor table and Lily looked down the table to see Sirius and James wave back enthusiastically. She raised her eyebrows lightly and remembered Cassie telling her earlier: _'Yeah me and Sirius spent most of the time together but James didn't mind. He was busy with another girl anyways…'_ Lily felt an odd feeling of relief and scowled. Damn Cassie. Making her think he had a girl. Wait, she didn't care, did she?

The girl marched up to the stool and stood in front of it for a minute glaring resentfully at the hat. She then picked it up and spun around to sit with on the stool the hat falling over her eyes.

'Bring it on hat!' The shout echoed through the Great Hall and several people laughed including Cassie. After a minute the mouth of the hat opened again and shouted: _'Gryffindor!'_

James and Sirius both jumped up on the bench cheering loudly and jumping up and down. The girl ran over and gave James a hug before sitting beside Matt.

Cassie leaned over and whispered in Lily's ear, 'And you thought he had a girl! Jealous were we?'

Lily turned to retort but saw Cassie's grin. Deciding it to be useless she turned and scowled at her plate instead.

Luckily they managed to get through the rest of dinner without any mention of James. But after….

'First year Gryffindors over here!' Lily called out as Remus came over to take the first years up. Lily smiled down at Matt and then started again. 'I'm Lily Evans…'

'Lily Evans?' The girl from earlier asked. "As in _the_ Lily Evans?'

The girl looked startled for a minute then shook it off. 'Sorry. I'm Charlie! James talked about you that's all.'

'How do you know Potter?'

'I was staying at his house most off the summer with Sirius. He talks about you all the time.'

Lily blushed and cleared her throat uncomfortably, 'Why were you staying at Potter's?'

'Oh,' Charlie said lightly sweeping a curl out of her face showing no signs of nervousness. 'My parents were murdered by You-Kno- Voldemort. The ministry thought it might be safer for me to stay with aurors and there are no better aurors than the Potters!'

'I'm sorry,' Lily muttered slowly.

'It's okay,' Charlie replied evenly. 'It's been a month and James was really good about it.' They both looked over to where James was leaving the Hall with the other Marauders.

'Hey, Evans!' James called out. 'Evans! Will you go out with me?'

Lily just turned away rolling her eyes but as she lead the first years out of the hall a slow smile spread across her face. _Well at least some things this year won't change…

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_

YAH! So see! James isn't cheating on Lily! There's some important clues in this chapter for you to find… Now that I know what some of the plot is, anyways! Please review.Anyways, to make it up to you i'll promise you a chapter where Cassie really loses her temper (it is bloodyscary). Maybenotnext chapter but the one after that.Thanx!


	8. The Amazing Bouncing Toad

A/N: Sorry it took so long anyways if lots of people review you'll get to see Cassie lose her temper by the end of the week. Thanks.

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**Review Responses: **

**Cosmopolitan- **Thank you so much and because you are such a dedicated reviewer and somehow managed to read and review the last chapter within about an hour of posting.

**Aeta Aella- **Glad to hear you're hooked. I'll try to update more often.

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Disclaimer: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! (laughs for five minutes strait) ME! Own Harry Potter! YEAH, RIGHT!

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And you ask me what I want this year  
And I try to make this kind and clear  
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days  
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings  
And desire and love and empty things  
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words  
And sing out loud  
Cuz everyone is forgiven now  
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live  
And something only you can give  
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive  
And the one poor child that saved this world  
And there's 10 million more who probably could

Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

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Chapter 8: The Amazing Bouncing Toad 

Cassie was in an amazing mood from the second she woke up the next morning. Not that this was unusual for her but very few people could find waking up early for the first day of school quite as thrilling as Cassie did.

After taking a shower and getting dressed she surveyed her roommates speculatively. After a moments thoughts she decided to start her usual wake up routine on Alice, as she was the least likely to physically injure her upon awaking.

Grinning and trying to stifle her own laughter she crept over to Alice's bed. She ripped apart the curtains to find Alice completely awake. Alice grinned at her friend's clearly disappointed face and walked past her towards the bathroom. Cassie pursed her lips slightly then moved on to Paige's bed where she received a face full of pillow. Finally she turned her attention on Lily's bed where she (at long last) found at least one of her friends blissfully asleep. She lightly bent over her bed and- Lily's scream could be heard clear across Gryffindor tower in the boy's dorm.

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James bolted awake when he heard a scream. He sat up breathing hard and shaking. After a second he remembered he was at Hogwarts and that nothing bad could happen. (a/n: he he) He lowered himself back down slowly and knew without looking that Remus and Sirius were awake on either side of him. Only Peter could sleep strait through a scream. Especially these days.

James screwed his eyes shut trying hard not to think about the sleep he wanted so bad. But no matter what he tried he couldn't get back to sleep. Finally James admitted defeat and dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door closed both Remus' and Sirius' curtains were ripped apart and the two boys looked at each other. Remus nodded to Sirius and the boy raced to James' trunk and pulled out his invisibility cloak. Nodding to Remus he sped out of the room and Remus brought out his new copy of _Advanced Transfiguration. _

James came out of the bathroom a minute later a towel around his waist (a/n: woo hoo!)and looked around the room. 'Where's Padfoot?'

'Putting the final touches on the prank.'

'Excellent!' James exclaimed as he got changed. 'I'll meet you down at breakfast okay? I'm starving!'

'Alright. Say hi toLily for me!' Remus shouted as the door shut behind James. Remus laughed slightly to himself and made his way over to the bathroom. As he passed Peter's bed he rolled his eyes. Peter had slept through the whole morning.

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Lily was happily eating breakfast the next morning with Cassie and Alice (Paige, the night owl, refused to get up) when Potter came and sat down across from her. She scowled at him, though not as harshly as she would the year before. 'What are you doing here Potter?'

'Eating. That a crime now?'

She scowled at him again as Sirius and Remus walked in both grinning brightly. Everyone else turned away in disgust as Cassie and Sirius started a snogging session. About ten minutes later Paige slid into the Great Hall just as McGonagall started to set the timetables.

'Lily Evans….' McGonagall said as she located Lily's name on the list. 'Charms, of course, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Transfiguration, Potions and… Arithmancy. Well those are all fine although I know Professor Shaw (Muggle Studies) will be sorry to not see you in her class.' Professor McGonagall shifted and adjusted her glasses peering down at Lily. 'I received a note from Miss. Prewett saying that I am not under any circumstances allowed to let you drop Care of Magical Creatures.'

Lily turned and glared at her friend (who was still snogging) and turned back to Professor McGonagall who handed her the books for MC. 'Thank you, professor,' she muttered taking the books and walking back to the group.

'CASSIE PREWETT! YOU SIGNED ME UP FOR A CLASS!' Cassie just turned and grinned up at her an innocent expression on her face. 'What?'

'I HAVE ENOUGH CLASSES WITHOUT YOU ADDING MORE! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!'

'No,' Cassie said easily not at all concerned by her friend's shouting. 'I gotta go see McGonagall. You'll wait right, Lils?'

Lily stood rooted to the spot still fuming. After a minute she realized that she was in fact waiting for Cassie and scowled worse. She shifted her feet restlessly and finally Cassie came over and the headed out of the Great Hall. As they left Cassie leaned over and whispered to Lily, 'You're in all of James' classes now. You're welcome.'

She kept walking leaving a shell shocked Lily in her wake.

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Cassie was pleased with herself. Very pleased. Step one of 'Stop-lily-and-james-from-being-gits-and-finally-going-out-operation' was in motion. She knew they would thank her one day. Er.. Granted that day might be a little far away-

'JAMES POTTER! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!'

-okay, maybe really far away. Cassie just sighed and turned to James and Lily. They were all standing outside the DADA classroom waiting for their teacher; whoever they were anyways. They hadn't been at the feast last night. Cassie sighed again as she watched her friends and leaned back resting her head on Sirius' shoulder. She would miss their last professor. Complete dimwit yes, but he was in the stupid and harmless category. He annoyed everyone else to no end though as he practically refused to admit that Voldemort existed. He resigned at the end of the year stating that OWL year was too stressful. However he was coated in Bubatuber Pus at the time which all of her friends, marauders and non-marauders alike, claimed credit for.

Now Cassie straitened as she saw a woman coming down the hall. She was maybe around 30 but had streaks of grey in it. She had a pair of spectacles on the bridge of her nose that were sliding down as she half ran down the hall. She breathlessly ushered the class into the room and turned to from the desk. 'I'm sorry; I'm sorry I'm late. I know. My name is Professor Spinnet. (A/N: Aunt of Alicia if you're wondering)There was a bit of a problem in my office. Apparently a niffler was set loose in my office and ran a bit of a muck.' She was peering over her glasses knowingly at the marauders who were fighting to keep a strait face. Cassie snorted lightly as she slid into place next to Paige.

'Now apparently there were some problems with your teacher from last year. I believe as a matter of fact the words Bubatuber pus boil head were used. However I wish to assure you that if a find Bubatuber pus anywhere near me there will be consequences. And I do not mean detentions.' She paused here and looked at the marauders in the back who were still grinning. 'Not that I don't appreciate a good prank and I understand he rather had it coming.' The marauders grinned even wider and she grinned back before continuing, 'Now I'm from Canada (Go Canada!) so I'm fairly out of the Hogwarts loop however I have heard some rumors of the treatment of Muggle-borns. If I hear or see any of this behavior you will learn your lesson the hard way.' She smiled pointedly at the Slytherins before turning to Cassie who had just raised her hand.

'Yes, Miss…'

'Prewett, Cassie Prewett.'

'Yes, Cassie?

'You rock.'

'Thank you, Cassie. Now I'm going to put you in pairs and you will practice dueling so I can tell your skill level. Now Cassie will be partnered with Mr. Evan Rosier (A/n: Death eater if your wondering), Miss. Alice Meadowes with Mr. Rastaban Lestrange, (A/N: Man with that name what do you expect), Miss. Paige McAdams with Miss. Arlene Davis, Miss. Lily Evans with Miss. Jamie Greengrass, Mr. Sirius Black with Peter Pettigrew, Mr. Remus Lupin with Miss. Terry Bletchley, Mr. Ryan Avery with Mr. Steven Wilkes and Mr. James Potter with Mr. Severus Snape.'

Cassie stood up and smiled despite being paired with a Slytherin. She looked at her new teacher and smiled knowing she had put Sirius with a Gryffindor o purpose and was grateful.

Rosier was really no match for Cassie and she had him with his own shoelaces weaving into the fabric of his pants. Cassie whistled lightly as she looked around the class ignoring her partner completely. She heard a loud bang and turned to find James looking mildly surprised his wand pointed at a- toad. However he was not the only one.

Professor Spinnet had her wand pointed at the toad an exasperated expression on her face. 'Mr. Snape the next time I need an opinion on the worthiness of James' life I'll ask you until then please refrain from attempting to kill your partner.' She directed him to bounce a couple times then waved her wand and the disheveled form of Snape appeared on the floor.

By now every Gryffindor (even Lily) was laughing and some of the Slytherins were even laughing. Cassie grinned at the Professor who smiled faintly back before turning to dismiss the class.

As Cassie left the room flanked by her friends she new it was going to be an interesting year.

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A/N: Okay… Please Review! You heard me…. 

R

E

V

I

E

W

So what more angst or less? I'm thinking more my fic is kinda fluffy right now.


	9. Cassie's Fury

A/N: Here it is folks! It was inspired by the song Move Along by The All American Rejects, which is a really good song. So R/R please!

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Disclaimer: Cassie and Paige are mine that is all. And quite frankly I'm proud of them so take your accusations elsewhere. Thank you.

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Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along  
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along  
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)  
When everything is wrong, we move along  
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through

Move Along by the All American Rejects

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Chapter 9: Cassie's Fury

The first week of school was passing rather quickly. Professor Spinnet had quickly become the favorite teacher. In the past week so had transfigured a record number of Slytherins for their comments. After the 49th McGonagall made a rule against student transfigurations but Cassie wasn't sure what other teacher could possibly need the rule.

Aside from that life was fairly normal at Hogwarts. Small explosions could be heard from the Gryffindor common room and on Wednesday all the spoons at the Slytherin table magically attached themselves to the students' foreheads. On Friday however Cassie woke with a feeling of dread that at best was completely irrational. That is until she looked at the clock and saw that class started 10 minutes ago.

'MOTHER F-' It was probably fortunate that there was no one was in the tower; as Cassie continued to swear loudly while she got dressed and raced down the stairs.

She finally slid into Transfiguration five minutes later yelling an apology and sliding in next to Alice. Unfortunately McGonagall wasn't particularly lax and proceeded to take five points from Gryffindor and give her a detention.

The rest of the day was just as bad. Cassie blew up two desks, seven chairs and oddly enough a parrot over the day from sheer frustration and had landed a record number of five different detentions for various reasons. To put the cherry on top of the pile of crap that was her day she was cornered by Slytherins after lunch, who made the mistake of informing her she polluted a family, was the scorn of the world, blah, blah, blah…. shortly after they turned up in front of Madam Pomfrey trying to explain why the appeared to be coated in a vile acid.

The end result was that Cassie was in a remarkably bad mood when it came to dinner and her day proceeded to go downhill from there.

'What's up Cass?' Alice asked from her left as the other girl scowled at her mashed potatoes. 'Nothing,' she replied grumpily. 'Bad day that's all…'

'Must be a bad if you're like this,' Alice replied sympathetically. 'This is Paige level brooding.'

Paige lowered her book from her place across from Alice and frowned at her before bringing the book up again while Alice simply grinned at her for having her point proven. Cassie ignored this and glared at Lily across from her. 'Why can't you get on with James? I can't even have dinner with my bloody boyfriend.'

'Try to eat his face more like,' Lily replied uncaringly then broke under her friend's glare. 'We can sit with them tomorrow alright? What's so wrong with sitting with us for one meal anyways?'

'Nothing,' Cassie said with a sigh laying her fork down beside her plate and putting her head in her hands. 'I just have this feeling that the world is crashing down around me.' She looked up and got a sympathetic look for her friends. Cassie made a face; she hated pity.

Still trying to shake of the feeling when she glanced over at the front hall then stopped and stared. There was an adult, a women actually, standing in the doorway as students milled in around her. She had long black graying her, cruel eyes, expensive clothes, Sirius' nose- and Cassie jumped up alarmed making her friends stare at her concerned, clearly under the impression she was experiencing some sort of mental break down.

'Guys we have to move!'

'Why?' Lily asked bewildered but Cassie didn't hear her as she was already making her way down the table. After sharing a shrug her friends followed. When they got there they saw Sirius glance over at the front and drop his knife and fork to the ground. Lily, Paige and Alice all glanced at the front to the woman slowly making her way over to the Slytherin table. Alice and Paige immediately sat down as the group huddled close together. After a confusing second Lily joined them still not entirely sure what was going on.

'Sorry mate I don't have the cloak on me,' James said worriedly. Sirius just shook his head and muttered something along the lines of '…not your fault.'

'What's going on?' Lily asked but everyone ignored her.

'Are there any secret passageways out of here, James?' Paige asked but James shook his head. 'There are but one's behind the staff table and the other's by the Slytherin table.'

'Guys?'

'Just walk out,' Remus urged. 'If you make it to the passage by the Hufflepuff common room…'

'He'd never make it Moony!'

'What is going on?'

'Maybe we should just call Dumbledore over.' Alice suggested.

'That would work…' Cassie said. '…if Sirius had told Dumbledore!'

'You didn't tell Dumbledore?' Alice asked in disbelief.

'Tell what!'

'Course not,' James muttered sarcastically looking worriedly at his best friend.

'Dumbledore knows everything,' Remus argued. 'He probably already knows.'

'Not everything,' Cassie reminded Remus. 'Just make a beak for it Sirius. We'll stall her.'

'Stall who!'

'No!' Sirius finally said his voice hoarse. 'It's going to happen sometime. Just let me get it over with. Please?'

Everyone nodded reluctantly (except Lily, who still had no idea what was going on) and sat back. Cassie looked worriedly at her boyfriend as his mother slowly made her way over. Cassie bit her lip and stared down at her plate worriedly as she heard the footsteps stopped behind her. Everyone else looked up and glared at the women except for Lily and Paige, who it seemed, had gone back to reading. Sirius' mum reached and and grabbed his shoulder roughly, probably meaning to make him face her.

And that was when Cassie just lost it.

She stood up and whirled to face her; a days worth of frustration pounding in her head. Cassie carefully placed herself between them and shoved her back, breaking her contact with her son. Cassie brought out her wand prepared for the piece of wood that was shoved in her face. What she wasn't prepared for was to see Mrs. Black's wand fly over her head.

'I wouldn't do that, Mrs. Black.' Cassie turned to see Paige standing, holding two wands and closing her book in a very calm, slow, deliberate manner. Apparently Paige had used her book as a cover to pull out her wand and silently disarm the women. Lily had comprehension, finally, in her eyes and she turned to the women disgust etched on her face.

'Filthy little Mudblood,' Cassie whirled back face flushed with anger and felt herself take a deep breath. 'What exactly do you think you're doing here?' Cassie voice was laced with venom; pure hatred pounding her ears. This was the person that ruined her boyfriend's childhood, caused him unexplainable pain and made him believe, for however short a time, that he actually deserved it.

_"Do I deserve this Cassie? I think I do… I'm such a failure… I deserve this pain…"_

_"No one deserves that kind of horror, Sirius, certainly not a thirteen year old!"_

The words of her and Sirius three years before echoed in her head as she started to scream. 'WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!' By now the whole great hall was staring and the lights stared to flicker from Cassie's anger. 'WHAT? HOWLERS DON'T WORK WELL ENOUGH NOW? YOU HAVE TO COME DOWN TO HOGWARTS YOURSELF TO HUMILIATE YOUR SON! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE BLOODY INSANE, DO YOU KNOW THAT? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON IN THAT SICK TWISTED LITTLE TINY BRAIN OF YOURS AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!' Cassie had tears in her eyes now from simply facing the horror behind all the pain and anguish she saw in Sirius' eyes when he woke up screaming from nightmares. The only thought Cassie had was that she couldn't believe Mrs. Black could come down here and try to taint the first place her son had ever found safety and love.

Cassie felt Lily's hand on her arm trying to calm her down but she shook it off as she continued to scream hardly even noticing what she was screaming anymore. 'WHAT KIND OF HORRIBLE PIECE OF CRAP USES THE CRUCIATUS CURSE ON ANYONE LET ALONE THEIR OWN SON!' Cassie dimly recognized the hall was deadly silent and Dumbledore and McGonagall had leapt to their feet but she hardly took notice of it. 'AND THEN JUST TO PROVE WHAT A HORRIBLE BOTTOM FEEDER YOU ARE YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM HE DESEVERVED IT!' Cassie shrieked the last to words as she felt a tear run down the side of her cheek. Mrs. Black took an angry step forward- and stopped to find a wand an inch from her nose.

Sirius had stood up and now had on arm wrapped around Cassie's shoulders the other pointing his wand into his mother's face. 'If you touch her, oh mother dearest it's you who will have to limp out, tail between your legs.' His mother continued to glare and he lowered his voice to a deadly whisper, 'Give me one reason.'

She just glared at him and said, 'You and your little Mudblood, blood traitor friends will get what you dese-' She suddenly broke off after finding no one but six wands shoved in her face. Paige, Lily, Alice, James and Remus were all standing wands pointing directly at her.

'I suggest you leave,' James said motioning to the door with his wand free hand, eyes never leaving her face. Paige lightly handed Mrs. Black's wand back to her a pleasant expression on her face. 'I wouldn't try anything. Not with Dumbledore making his way over now.'

Mrs. Black looked over to where Dumbledore and McGonagall were making their way over. With one last glare at her son she swept out of the Great Hall.

Cassie just stood still trembling with anger then a look of determination came over her face. She slid out of her boyfriend's grip and sprinted down the aisle past McGonagall who tried to stop her and Dumbledore who just gave her a concerned look. She kept running across the hall until she was at the front of the Slytherin table.

All the students were looking a little terrified now at the girl standing in front of them. None of them have ever been on the receiving end or ever witnessed Cassie mad before. 'DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?' Cassie screamed tears still sliding down her red cheeks although she didn't notice them. 'IS THIS THE KIND OF THING YOU LIKE? TO SEE PEOPLE RIPPED APART AND THEN HAVING SOMEONE JUMP UP AND DOW ON THE PIECES! WELL THIS IS WHAT YOU DO! YOU AND YOUR STUPID PREDJUDICE! YOU TEAR PEOPLE'S LIVES APART!' Most of the Slytherin table was now standing set on leaving the hall. Cassie noticed this and pointed down the table. 'SIT DOWN!' All the students were magically pulled down to their seats the bottoms actually glued to the wood. 'IS THIS THE KIND OF THING YOU ENJOY! DO YOU FEEL ANYTHING? WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE SCREAM, WHEN YOU SEE THEM CRY DO YOU EVEN CARE? IF YOU SAW SOMEONE TORTURED WOULD IT EVEN OCCUR TO YOU IT WAS WRONG? DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE WE DESERVE IT? ARE YOU THAT BAD? ARE YOU THAT INHUMANE? DO YOU EVER FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL? ARE WE THAT WORTHLESS TO YOU? WE DON'T DESERVE THIS! NO ONE DOES! IS THAT ALL YOU SEE US AS? BLOOD TRAITORS AND MUDBLOODS AND POLLUTION! AT LEAST WE'RE HUMAN! CAN YOU SAY THE SAME! DO YOU EVER FEEL ANYTHING OR ARE YOU THAT DEAD INSIDE?'

Cassie felt arms wrap around her from behind and turned and buried her face in Sirius' shoulder sobbing. Sirius looked down the table a blank dead expression on his face then lead his hysterical girlfriend out of the hall followed by their friends stony expressions on their faces. After a minute Matt and Charlie got up and followed them out. Then Mickey from the Ravenclaw table then others until only the Slytherin table was left.

What Cassie didn't realize was that no one in the hall during her screaming would talk the rest of the night. The Slytherins just sat staring as Cassie's voice seemed to echo through the hall.

'_When you see someone scream, when you see them cry do you even care? If you saw someone tortured would it even occur to you it was wrong? Do you actually believe we deserve it?' _

What Cassie screamed that night in desperation and fear and pain…. It would never completely leave the hall.

_DO YOU EVER FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL?

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_

A/N: The beginning kind of sucked but I think it got better as it went on. Thanx! And please review! Please! PLEASE!


	10. Haunted

A/N: This is going to be a long author's note so I give you permission to skip ahead.

Child abuse is in no way, shape or form funny or amusing. It is disgusting on every level. When writing the scenes (and probably future scenes) concerning Sirius' home life I am not condoning it in anyway. If it offends anyone I am very sorry however there is a T rating on this fic which is to cover some of the more violent and evil acts committed. While I'm sure some of you feel the story could do without it I feel it's crucial to Sirius' character development and personality. And while it is uncomfortable for me to write, to say the least, I feel that art (or in this case written works of fans who are probably far to obsessed for our own good) reflects life. Therefore when people stop abusing their children I will stop writing about it.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! However it is kind of flattering that you think I do.

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**Review Responses:**

**Poizon- **Awwwwww…. Thanks so much. I'm really glad you liked the characters. I didn't want this to be just a Lily and James fic. When it's just about them it's kind of boring and typical. Anyways thanks for the review!

**Alisen- **Thanks for your review! Yours gave me a second review page so now I'm happy. Thanks.

This is the tenth chapter so I just want to give a little shout out to all the people who either have this story on their favorites or alert list. Thanx!

Are the sins getting staler  
Does every moment move past you  
Or does it feel like forever  
And shouldn't you be laughing too?

Take a look how they found you  
Take a look what they've done to you now  
What was it they wanted  
Sullen and haunted?  
If only you saw it coming

How far down would you fall  
If you never came up again  
'Cause you're so sick of it all  
And you want to change everything  
Just how deep will you go  
To see through it all?

Sick of it All by Finger Eleven

Chapter 10: Haunted

Lily sat awake on her bed late thinking about what happened. Every time she tried to wrap her mind around it she just… how could anyone…. She turned and punched her pillow in frustration.

'He'll be fine.' Lily turned to see Alice sitting up across the room staring at Lily in concern. 'Really, he'll be fine.'

'How?'

'Cassie,' Alice answered simply lying back down. 'He has Cassie. He'll be fine…'

'He didn't tell anyone… How did he… keep going?' Lily asked desperately staring down at her pillow. She felt Alice's eyes turn to her but kept her back to her.

'How many times have you seen Sirius come to King's Cross with his family?'

Lily thought back and couldn't think of one time. She turned confused to see Alice had rolled over and was facing the wall.

'He comes with James, Lily.'

'James… knew? About the… curse?'

'Yeah.'

'How could he not help him!' Lily said feeling her voice rising. After a long pause Alice answered her voice was defeated. 'This is the wizarding world, Lily. You can't take on families like the Black's, you'll die trying. James did what he could.'

'He…did?'

'The summer before fourth year James went to Sirius' house to take him back with him. Without his parents.'

'They…didn't…?' Alice half turned back to her raising her eyebrows. 'That's why we say he'd do anything for his friends, Lil. Because… he has…'

Cassie cuddled up to Sirius on the couch later that night. Everyone else was in bed and Sirius just got back from taking to Dumbledore. The two sat staring into the fire; Sirius with his arm around Cassie and Cassie gripping a fistful of Sirius' shirt in her hand.

'I'm sorry,' she said finally her voice cracking slightly as she pulled away so she could look up at him. 'I shouldn't have…. I'm sorry…'

'It's fine, Cass,' Sirius said evenly but his grip on Cassie tightened, like he didn't want to let her go. Cassie slowly released his shirt and reached up brushing his hair out of his eyes. 'Sirius?'

'Yeah?' He asked looking down at her. She blinked up at him her green eyes shining softly. She kept her hand on the side of his head as she shifted so she was sitting on his lap. 'Sirius,' she repeated but this time it wasn't a question. She leant up and kissed him softly. When she pulled away they rested their foreheads together. 'I think I have to tell you something…'

'What?' Sirius asked his voice just as soft as he moved both his hand to the small of her back keeping her close to him.

'You don't have to say anything, but…' she pulled away slightly so she could look him in the eyes. 'I don't want to leave you Sirius.'

'You don't have to, Cass,' Sirius said looking at her, clearly confused.

'No, Sirius. I meant… Ever… I don't want to leave you ever…' She lowered her eyes slightly so she wasn't looking at him. 'I… It would kill me if anything happened to you… I… think… I mean… I… don't…. this is a bad idea. Never mind,' she said hurriedly as she pulled away and started to leave. Sirius caught her and pulled her back with enough force that they fell out the couch with Cassie on top. She stared into his steel grey eyes and knew it was a mistake…. she wouldn't be able to help it now.. she would tell him- 'Sirius, I think I'm in love with you!'

Both of them stayed perfectly still for a moment then Cassie scrambled off looking horrified. 'Oh god! I did not just say that.' She cast another fearful look at Sirius then ran towards the staircase.

She felt a warm hand on her arm, holding her back. She stopped then slowly turned around. Sirius face was light by the flickering light of the fireplace as he gazed at her intensely. He paused slightly then pulled her into a passionate kiss.

How long they stood, in each others arms pressed together completely from their toes to their lips, Cassie would never know. When she started to deepen the kiss Sirius pulled away reluctantly pulling her instead into a tight hug. He lightly rested his chin on the top of her head and whispered softly, 'I… love you too…'

She smiled softly into his chest and closed her eyes in complete utter peace.

_He struggled for breath, fighting the shadows creeping up on to his chest. He took a deep breath holding it as the wisps of darkness tightened coming up to his neck. Keeping his breath inside him he looked around for someone- anyone, to help him but he saw only grey outside the shadows._

_He fought desperately as a dark vine covered his eyes and nose, blocking his senses. He was choking on it as the darkness got in his nose and down his throat. There was a shattering sound as something broke above his head. The pieces rained down around him the pieces falling on his upturned face, shredding it painfully. He let out an anguished scream as his vision was splattered with blood._

_Suddenly the darkness and grey was gone to be replace with water. He wiped the blood hurriedly from his eyes to see and looked up at a spot of life above him. He fought up to the surface his breath choking in his chest making it aching furiously. As he neared the surface a dark impossibly monstrous arm reached and shoved him down. His head snapped back from the force and he floated down losing consciousness._

_The darkness closed in on his vision as vines of shadows wrapped around his stomach pulling him down. He fought still, but weaker then before his mind's hold on life weakening._

'_You'll always be there right?'_

_The darkness was crushing him. His ribs had to have broken by now…_

'_NO! Don't touch me!'_

_Anguished screams not his own filled his head and he fought desperately to stay conscious._

'_He's going do die!'_

_He knew that voice…_

'_Help him, not me! I'm fine!'_

_He couldn't breath. His chest ached from lack of air…_

'_Don't leave me..'_

_He had to stay awake… had…to…_

'_Bastards!'_

_He could feel an icy coldness as his back landed on something…_

'_Please…'_

_Stay…awake…_

'_Don't'_

_Couldn't…breath…_

'_We're just kids'_

_Was he a kid? He couldn't remember…_

'_Leave him alone!'_

_Pain exploded in his head and he squirmed from the pain…_

'_Please…'_

_Sorry…_

'_Stay… Stay with me…'_

_Can't…bye…_

"_CASSIE!"_

_The darkness raced up to him… Crushing him…_

A pair of eyes flew open as tears of pain flowed from them…

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A/N: Wow… My first cliffie… Any thoughts anyone? I hope my dream sequence was okay since it's my first… Sorry about the wait but I just got kingdom hearts 2 (yeah!) so I've been playing that… and exams, I guess. 


	11. Me, Away From Me

A/N: Wow a big thanx to my reviewers you make me feel so special. I feel so loved. here's some plot development…

Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah… I own nothing.

**Review Responses:**

**Mediator girl- **oh no! now I have to make you love James and Lily too! sigh… im actually glad that you like Sirius and Cassie… since James and Lily don't get together until seventh year I wanted to have some cute romantic scenes.

**cenafan619**- wow! you get the award for most reviews by a single reader. alright… where do I start… sorry about the Quidditch team. I apparently need to pay more attention. And.. Canada, yes Canada I live in Canada… we rock! And im glad my writing actually effected someone… sniff wipes tear happily

**Dillie- **thanx…

**Cat- **thanx… I get my information from hp lexicon which is a really good site.

**dracosbabygrl****- **thank you. I do try to be original…

**Poizon****- **Speachless! yes I made someone speechless… thanx for reviewing again.

**GiddyGirlie****- **thanx

**Moony's Warebabe****- **you're confused… alright, well if you're confused about the end of the last chapter it was a dream sequence and I wanted you to be a little confused. so well done to me… I think… anyways if you're confused about anything else let me know and ill try to clear it

up.

**Alisen- **Wow! Thanx for reviewing again! I was really worried about my first romantic scene and I'm glad you liked it. thanx also for the clif comment. I wanted you to be just a little confused about it.

Crawling through this world  
As disease flows through my veins  
I look into myself but  
My own heart has been changed  
I can't go on like this  
I loathe all I've become

I've woken now  
To find myself in the shadows  
Of the lie I've created  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
Away from this place I'm in  
Won't you take me away from me

Lost in a dying world  
I reach for something more  
I have grown so weary  
Of this lie I live

I've woken now  
To find myself in the shadows  
Of the lie I've created  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
Away from this place I'm in  
Won't you take me away from me

And I have woken now  
To find myself  
I'm lost in shadows of my own  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
Away from me

**Away from Me** by Evanescence

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Chapter 11: Me, Away From Me

When Cassie and Sirius came to the Great Hall one morning about a week later the others looked up from their breakfast, or in Paige's case her book, to see them grinning ecstatically.

'And where were you last night, young lady?' Alice asked grinning as she made room for the couple.

'Yeah where were you last night?' James asked glaring at them tiredly but still aggressively. Sirius was staring at the table intently while looking rather scared. Cassie on the other hand looked rather unconcerned, 'No where that is any of your business. Pass the bacon.'

James just scowled at her and Paige looked up rolling her eyes and passing Cassie the plate of bacon. After she turned to James, 'Relax, James. Sirius didn't do anything a teenage boy would do.' Everyone turned to stare at her and she snorted. 'He's happy but he's not that happy.'

James made a face and turned back to his breakfast as everyone laughed. 'Who peed in your porridge, Prongs?'

'Cornflakes, Sirius,' Remus said exasperatedly. It's: 'Who peed in your _cornflakes_?''

'What's so special about cornflakes?'

They all laughed even James, though he was still eyeing the couple distrustfully. After a minute Alice got up and tugged on Paige's shirt sleeve making her look up and glare in annoyance. 'What?'

'We,' she started gesturing between the two of them. 'Have to go see Professor McGonagall before classes, remember?'

'Oh yeah,' Paige said lightly getting up. 'Cassie, do you want to come?'

'What…No, that's ok-ouch!' She looked up at Paige while rubbing her shin lightly. 'Sure! I'd love to come! It would make my day!'

Paige rolled her eyes and hauled Cassie out of the room as Alice slapped herself in the forehead from frustration. Lily glared at them as they left the room suspecting something. After a minute Remus got up mumbling something about getting to class dragging a clueless Peter and a protesting Sirius, for he was desperately trying to get as much food as possible into his mouth, out of the hall.

Lily turned to glare at James, the only one now left at the table. After a minute of them both sitting awkwardly in silence James cleared his throat, 'So… Lily did you finish your transfiguration homework?'

'Yeah,' Lily answered, surprised he would bring up school. 'How did you do on the quiz yesterday?'

'Good,' James answered, grinning happily. _I've bin alone with her for more then one minute and haven't put my foot in my mouth yet. _'It was easy. You?'

'Okay…' Lily muttered to her plate clearly hating herself for bringing it up.

'Do my eyes deceive me or did Lily Evans get something below an O,' Inside he was berating himself. Why? Why did he get so nervous around her he always did something stupid like-

'God, Potter! Why do you have to be so arrogant?' –like that.

James sighed and looked at his plate. He never could back down and let her have the last word- 'Me? Arrogant? Look in the mirror Lily dearest!'

'What!' she shouted jumping up.

'You are just as bad as I am!' He said evenly standing as well. 'At least I acknowledge my faults! Unlike you. You think you're perfect!'

'I do not think I'm perfect!'

'No, of course not,' he said sarcastically, letting his anger getting the better of him and turning to leave. He was tired, and annoyed, and he really did not want to deal with a Lily Evans confidence shattering session right now.

'Get back here Potter!'

'What?' He shouted spinning around. They were standing in the middle of the entrance hall now but it was empty except for a couple second years who left very quickly.

'Are you sooo big headed that you think everyone around you is just like you?'

'You know what, Evans?' James asked his anger leaving and just feeling tired. 'You are so busy focusing on my faults you can't even see your own. The only reason you're even mad is because for once in your life someone beat you at something and you can't stand it!'

---------------------------------

'Paige, who's Voldemort?'

Paige and Matt were sitting in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room after everyone else went to dinner. Paige was reading while Matt worked on his homework shooting her a glance out of the corner of his eyes.

'Who talked to you about Voldemort?' She asked sharply looking up at him.

'Well… I asked Charlie why everyone talked about you-know-who. Then she told me his name was Voldemort and he killed her parents. But THEN she wouldn't tell me anything else,' He turned to her lightly laying down his quill. 'Is he a serial killer or something?'

Paige stared at him for a long time then laid down her book and gestured to the seat next to her. 'Come here, Mattie.'

Matt stared at her worried, Paige only called him Mattie when something was wrong, then came over and sat beside her.

'Voldemort is a very very bad man, Mattie,' She told him looking in the eye. She swallowed heavily trying to figure out how to put this. 'DO you remember someone called Hitler from World War 2?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, Voldemort is sort of like him. He doesn't like anyone who isn't pure blood. That's when you don't have any muggle family. Anyways, so… He does bad things to the people who try to stop him or people like you, me and Lily. People who think like them, and a lot of them are Slytherins, use a bad word for people like us: Mudblood.'

'Oh!' Matt said comprehension on his face. 'That's what that means?'

'Someone called you that?' Paige asked sharply. When he nodded she continued. 'If anyone ever calls you that again you go to James or Sirius or Remus and you tell them alright? They'll make sure no one bothers you.'

'Okay, Paige, is that it?'

'One more thing,' Paige bit her lip trying to figure the next part out. 'Voldemort's followers are called Death Eaters, okay? So if anyone makes a comment about them being good… leave, okay? Promise me?'

'I promise.'

'Good,' she said smiling slightly. 'Give me a hug, kiddo.'

---------------------------------

_Two boys sat at a kitchen table. After a minute one turned to the other._

'_So you don't mind if I stay, Prongs?'_

_Static clouded the scene._

'_No problem, Padfoot.'_

_More static._

'_What the?'_

_He floated lightly in water trying to figure out what he just saw. Suddenly there was an ache in his chest and he started to fight to the surface. A monsterous arm pushed him down. _

'_Wait, what?'_

_He looked again the arm was just a normal arm. _

_A buzzing was filling his head._

'_Dad, what are death eaters?' _

_Buzz…_

_His feet contact with group and he crouched for a second before pushing of again. he was almost to the surface now… almost there… and he collided with something solid were the surface should have been. His eyes slowly closed…_

_There was something wet on his cheek. He faught nausea and opened his eyes slowly… but the buzzing was so loud…_

'_Who-know-who stricks again-'_

_Buzz…_

_All he saw was white… but water wasn't white… or cold either… wait, ice!_

_Buzz…_

'_Come on… We always race…'_

_Buzz… _

'_What? Afraid to lose?'_

_Buzz…_

_Someone hauled him up off the ice laughing cruelly… _

'_Let his daddy see what it feels like to lose a son…'_

_A girl was screaming for him he looked to the shore and his hazel eyes locked with green. _

'_Cassie!'_

_The ice was cracking and Cassie was disappearing along with the figures that held her. He looked down then his reflection slowly turned it's back as the ice shattered outwards, shredding him… And that buzzing…_

'_Did you like question ten, Moony?'_

_Buzz…_

'_Loved it…'_

_Buzz…_

'_Where'd you get that?'_

_The blankness faltered and he could make out four boys before…_

_Buzz…_

'_Nicked it.'_

_Buzz…_

'_Padfoot are you sure you want to do this…' _

_Buzz…_

_He stood in the great hall. A girl sat on the Gryffindor table reading then she look up and smiled. But her face wavered in distortion…_

'_You okay?'_

_Her face stayed normal then distorted to black and white._

'_You don't look so good…'_

_She distorted then she was jumping off the table closing her book. _

'_Well we're here for you..'_

_She walked down the aisle leaving the great hall then in a flash of light she was gone._

_Buzz…_

_Now he sat by a bed in the hospital wing. The boy turned to him his face distorting._

'_Hey did I ever tell you much this means to me?'_

_He distorted again and for a second his nose lengthened into a snout…_

'_If I didn't thanks…'_

_He closed his eyes and started to fade away…_

'_Anyways don't worry about me…'_

_He sat beside an empty bed._

_Buzz…_

_A girl sat on the Gryffindor common room couch. She turned to him smiling…_

'_Come on smile!'_

_She jumped over the back of the couch flickering to black and white as she landed. _

'_You look funny with you frown...'_

_Even her laugh was distorted…_

'_Well, try to smile.'_

_She smiled again then waved disappearing._

_Buzz…_

_A boy shifted nervously in their dormitory._

'_What?'_

_His beady eyes shifted slightly._

'_You always left me alone'_

_He glared._

'_You can be alone now…'_

_Buzz…_

'_Peter?'_

'_Nahhh…'_

_Buzz…_

_A girl smiled lightly and started to walked. She distorted and started again like on a broken record…_

'_Why do you always try to do so much on your own? _

_She leaned in towards him peering up at his downcast face; another track on the broken record: she repeated it._

'_Huh?'_

_So stood up strait, now black and white but her movements were smooth._

'_You still have us though…'_

_She smiled slightly flashing in colour for a second._

'_Right?'_

_Buzz…_

_Back in the kitchen one boy turned to the other._

'_You are the best mate ever.'_

_His face distorted as he smiled gratefully, then sheepishly._

'_But I have one thing you never will…'_

_He buzzed fading out._

'…_you as a friend.'_

_Buzz…_

_A girl stood on a plate of ice floating on a pond she turned, an annoyed look on her face._

'_Is it your personal mission to make my life miserable?'_

_A tear round down his cheek and her faced softened._

'_I'll give you a break, alright?'_

_She held up one finger shaking it lightly at him._

'_But just this once.'_

_She reached out to him a smile on her face._

_Buzz…_

_The ice was cracking._

_Buzz…_

'_Grab my hand!'_

_He raced towards her as the ice continued to crack._

'_LILY!'_

_His fingernails scratched the palm of the hand as the ice beneath them shattered._

'_JAMES!'

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_

A/N: How was that better or worse? Did you see the end coming? Yes? No? Well either way review! and... if you see a little kingdom hearts in there just ignore it... i just beat 2 nd im replaying 1 again! Yah! Summer!


	12. Confusing

A/N: sigh… everyone's confused by the dream sequences… oh well… if you've played final fantasy 8 or kingdom hearts 2 you'd get it…

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Disclaimer: still nothing….(yeah… I'm to lazy to make this humouress…. maybe next time…)

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**Review Responses:**

**fath8252- **aww…. thanks… coincidently this chapter was written at around 3 in the morning….

**Poizon- **Thanx for reviewing again… I'm glad someone liked the dreams.

**FrosktyAFK- **thanx… that means a lot…

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DEDICATION:

I would like to dedicate this chapter to **mediator girl**. For reviewing, again, and giving me my sweetest review so far. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It means a lot to me that you think so highly of my writing and if you feel like writing a long review again go right a head. And yes I am a teen. I'm fifteen.

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crawling in my skin  
these wounds they will not heal  
fear is how I fall  
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
consuming, confusing  
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending  
controlling, I can't seem

to find myself again  
my walls are closing in  
without a sense of confidence

and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
I've felt this way before  
insecure

**Crawling **by Linkin Park

Chapter 12: Confusing 

Lily was confused. Not that it was spectacularly unique in anyway but that didn't dismiss the feeling at all. Lily was fairly used to being confused, as a muggle-born it happened quite often. Lily could still remember, for example, an incident in her early potion making days were a very confusing text book led to Professor Slughorn having his first experiences with PMS. She didn't really understand how bad that was until a couple years later. Then she was very sympathetic. Very...

However what was confusing Lily was not the gender of her Professor or the difference between a shriveled mushroom and a bezor. What was confusing her was a great deal less pleasant: James Potter.

His eyes were blood shot, he was constantly pale and- he had not asked Lily out for nearly two weeks. Needless to say, she was fairly concerned. At first she assumed it was because they had a fight- but he never backed down for that long and he was acting very odd. He fell asleep in class only to wake up a couple minutes later, he didn't shovel food into his face like he was in a pie eating contest and he just seemed exhausted.

The first day it happened she assumed he was hung over. On the fifth day she was less sure. On the seventh she knew something was wrong.

And she was pretty sure she wasn't the only one who noticed.

This was what lead Lily to bring up the topic when she was sitting in the library studying with Paige and Alice.

'Have you noticed anything- odd about James lately?'

'You mean like how now when I eat I don't have to use you as a human shield for flying food?' Alice asked smiling at her book.

'Well among other things- yeah,' Lily said looking over at James, which caused Paige and Alice to follow her gaze.

James was sitting by himself in the library. He didn't seem to notice that the girls were there. Either that or he just didn't care. He was reading a book his eyes downcast but they weren't moving, instead they were fixed on one spot on the page.

'If he wanted us to know what was wrong he would tell us,' Paige said easily her eyes never moving from her own homework after she looked back downbut after a minute she paused. 'But whatever it is he better get over it. It's making him sick.'

Alice turned back to her work but Lily kept watching him. After a minute he sighed and, putting his book in his bag, left the library with his head down. Lily watched him then stood and started putting her work in her bag hurriedly.

Without looking up Alice quickly reprimanded her, 'Leave him alone, Lily.'

'I'm just going to make sure he makes it back alright,' Lily answered defensively, slinging her bag over one shoulder. 'I can't vouch for what he would do if some Slytherin said something stupid to him.'

'Awful lot of concern for someone you don't even like,' Alice said easily still not looking up. Paige did though and after a minute of locking eyes with Lily she blinked slowly and lowered her eyes to her page. Lily nodded to herself and left ignoring the smirk that overcame Alice's downcast face.

Lily slowly crept along the corridor trying to stay as quiet as humanly possible. After stepping down a little too hard and hearing her step echo in the empty hall she winced. _Wait… I'm a witch…_ she thought to herself and pulled out her wand casting a silencing spell on the air around her. After allowing herself a slight smirk she crept forward hoping that James wasn't using some secret passageway she didn't know about. She was about to turn the corner when she heard a familiar raised voice and stopped abruptly.

'You are the most difficult person on the face of the planet!' Cassie shouted. Lily could just imagine her standing hands on hips that annoying 'you-know-I'm-right' look, getting herself all red in the face.

'Cassie…' That was James; his voice perfectly defeated. And Lily could practically see him staring at her blankly trying to figure out how quickly he could leave.

'No, James! Just look at you!' (_Wow… Cassie is really is working her self up…_) 'You're going to crash at the rate you're going! Do you think everyone's going to be so clueless then!'

There was a minute of silence, or at least Lily couldn't hear anything but when Cassie started up again her voice was softer then before. 'James, please,' she begged lightly walking lightly, towards James, Lily imagined. 'You're having them every night… this just isn't healthy.'

James mumbled something Lily couldn't make out but judging by what Cassie shouted next it wasn't hard to figure out. 'Fine? YOU'RE FINE?'

James sighed and said something low again that Lily couldn't hear but it seemed to calm Cassie down. After a minute she sighed and guessing from the ruffle of fabric Cassie had pulled James into a warm embrace. 'James when was the last time you had a good night's sleep?'

'I don't know…' Lily raised her eyebrows slightly and both wished she wasn't and was thankful for being in the corridor alone. While Alice would have dragged her away lecturing her about privacy and respect, Paige not only had better hearing but her magical ability to put things together very quickly.

'Maybe you should take some Dreamless Sleep Potion, James.'

'It's just…' He trailed off slowly then when he started again his voice was louder and annoyed. 'You have nightmares too!'

'One night every two months, James. Not for three weeks strait every four months. And I,' she shouted now matching his annoyed tone easily. 'do not have chronic insomnia.'

'I'm fine!' James was shouting back now and Lily pushed herself further into the wall knowing how mad they would both be if they caught her.

'Damn it, James! How long do you think it's going to take for the teachers to notice you fall asleep in class? Huh? Every class? Or how you wake up ten minutes later drenched in sweat? Because I know Lily and Alice are noticing. God only knows what Paige has put together in that brain of hers. And if Paige has put it together what do you think McGonagall and Dumbledore have? James, it hasn't been this bad in two years! What if they turn into night terrors again?'

James remained silent and Lily couldpractically seeCassie glaring at him suspiciously. 'They already have, haven't they?

'There's something I'm missing!' James finally burst out sounding frustrated. 'I can tell. There's something I'm forgetting!'

'I was there James! Remember? Nothing happened!'

James snorted disdainfully before continuing, 'Oh yeah! And that's why you were so terrified of everyone but me before we came to Hogwarts! Because we fell in a pool!'

Lily could tell Cassie had backed down after that as Lily strained top hear more. 'Why would they lie?' Cassie ask her voice cracking.

'I don't know…' James mumbled. 'To protect us probably…'

They both stood silent for a moment then walked off slowly. After Lily was sure they were gone she let out a deep breath, her nose scrunched slightly in concentration.

_Night terrors?_

_-------------------------------------------_

Sirius woke to screams that night. Well, screams and thrashing as James desperately fought his inner demons. Sirius lightly rolled off the bed and stumbled over to James' which had the curtains open for just this purpose.

'Prongs,' Sirius whispered softly gently laying a hand on his shoulder which he flinched away from. Sirius looked up across James at Remus helplessly who came over and gently held James down on the other side so he couldn't hurt himself.

'James, mate, wake up.' At Sirius' soft words James eyes snapped open and Sirius had to remind himself that he wasn't actually awake. He probably wasn't even really seeing them. 'James it's alright.'

'Don't hurt me…' James whimpered curling into himself, not even recognizing his best friends. Remus eyed Sirius disproving over the bed as they both tried to calm James down. Sirius hadn't let Remus or Peter tell James what he said in his sleep. He had no idea what could scare James Potter this much and frankly didn't want to know. James was always so strong it was weird seeing him react almost like Sirius would when he awoke from his own nightmares.

'James? Sirius?' Came a bleary voice from across the room. Peter pulled himself out of bed yawning and positioned himself at the end of James' bed.

'It's fine Pete. Just another nightmare.'

Peter looked at him oddly then at James who was now sobbing into his pillow still fighting Sirius' and Remus' hold on him. 'Nightmare? Again?'

'They tend to happen often Peter,' Remus replied grumpily as James started to thrash again, managing to hit Remus in the nose while he was at it.

'Maybe I should get Cassie,' Peter said uncertainly but Sirius shook his head still trying to hold James down. 'Not for this. She'd just worry more.'

'Well maybe if we told Dumble-'

'Your funeral,' Sirius cut in as James' sobbing increased and Remus cast a silencing charm on the boys' dorm. James started whimpering again and said something in his quiet childish voice he used in his sleep. Despite themselves the three boys leaned in to hear better.

'No… Cassie…' he whimpered again and adopted a pained look on his face as he started sobbing again. 'Please… don't…'

James' movement quieted until he was just sniffing slightly into his pillow his eyes now clenched shut an unspoken cry of pain on his face. Sirius and Remus let out a breath of relief as their friend drifted back into his nightmare but did not leave his side as Peter went back to bed.

After a minute Sirius looked over at the clock to see it was only two in the morning. He sighed again and turned back to his friend who shuddered slightly in his sleep.

'Go to bed, Moony,' he finally said his eyes never leaving James' trembling figure. 'Full moon coming up.'

'Alright,' Remus said reluctantly heading back to his bed but keeping the curtains opened in case Sirius needed his help again.

'It'll be alright, mate,' Sirius said softly to his sleeping friend. 'You'll see. We'll figure out what's causing all this then you'll get a decent night's sleep for once.'

He frowned down a James sleeping form. James was still curled up and his right fingers were twitching inconsolably. After a seconds hesitation he slipped his fingers into James and for a second they were twelve again, sharing their inner nightmares. 'It'll all be okay, mate… I'll help you just like you helped me… I still think you should tell the girls though.' James hand tightly slightly around his as if warning him not to do anything. 'I won't tell but… you should. You never will, of course. God forbid that Lily Evans know you're human.'

James shifted slightly in his sleep making Sirius grin. 'Yeah, yeah… We all know you're in love with the girl. We can hardly get you to think about anything else…'

James scrunched up his face a little making him look about six years old. Sirius laughed softly before continuing. 'She's a good girl, mate. And she'd be good for you. Which is way more important. But man you sure do pick 'im.' Sirius squeezed James hand before pulling away.

'You'll be legendary you two will. I can tell…' Sirius grinned to himself imagining what Lily would do to him if he said that around her. 'Hey,' he said placing his hand on James' shoulder. 'You keep this between us alright? I don't want anyone knowing I got all girly and cutesy on you.' With one last squeeze Sirius left his friend and returned to his own bed not seeing the tiniest small appear on James' face.

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A/N: AHHHHHHHH….. the sap get it off! Off, I say! Anyways try not to be to horrified at Sirius' character. He has to be serious (he he) sometimes and if your gonna pick a time that's not a half bad time to pick. Anyways sorry it took so long but writers block and lack of interest is not a good combination… but I'm back solet the reviewing begin! Oh! And I'm also hoping to upload the first chapter of my AU story sometime this week so check it out! 


	13. Happy in a Word

A/N: Sorry for the time gap but I need to pick up the pace and I couldn't resist having the Halloween chapter be the thirteenth.

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Disclaimer: Alright, we are on FanFiction(dot)net. Why would you think I own anything?

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**Review Responses:**

**Varvara- **Right well… I can't read that but I'll assume you said only good things, k?

**Whitelight72****- **Welcome new reviewer! Thanx!

**mediator girl****- **hi again! and you are very welcome! and thanx for your comment on Sirius I was worried that it was way too girly… and I love the other side of James too… and to answer your question… Lily is going to be very clueless for awhile… the reason she seems to hate James is she really doesn't understand what's going on all the time. BUT she is starting to like James as a person… she'll start to _like _like James soon!

**Poizon****- **another faithful reviewer! thanx for the James and Sirius comment. I really wanted you to feel the brotherly bond in that chapter.

**fath8252****- **I always try to respond to my reviewers no matter how many or how few. Sorry but Lily isn't going to help James… yet. James'… errr… situation will be ongoing for a little while.

**GiddyGirlie****- **thanx and I understand your position. When I read books and find a error I actually correct it with a pencil but I HATE editing my own work! And I have no BETA so…. meh! I'll try harder…

DEDICATION:

AHHHHH…….. I am so sorry EastCoastHPgrl! I somehow just got your review for chapter 10! I'm so sorry! So this chapter's for you!

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Everything fails  
Everything runs it's course  
A time and a place, for all of this loving war  
Everyone buys, everyone's gotta price, and nothing is new  
When will all the failures rise  
When will all the failures rise, rise!

Happy is a yuppie word  
Nothing in the world could fail me now  
It's empty as an argument  
I'm running down a life that won't cash out

Happy is a yuppie word  
Blessed is the man who's lost it all  
Happy is a yuppie word (word)

Looking for an orphanage  
I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down  
I don't believe the emptiness  
I'm looking for the kingdom coming down

Happy is a Yuppie Word by: Switchfoot

Chapter 13: Happy in a Word

After nearly two months of careful deliberation Charlie Porter came to a very important conclusion. Adults were weird. Teenagers were weirder.

Charlie was sitting at the Gryffindor table on Halloween morning gazing down at James and his friends. Matt sat across from her engrossed in his food. At first she had been offended when he practically ignored her at breakfast then she realized he did it to everyone and that he seemed to eat his elephant sized serving in five minutes anyways so it didn't really matter.

Charlie continued to eye the group oddly then shook her head in exasperation. Sirius had completely ignored the issue after Cassie's breakdown over a month ago. And of course no one ever brought it up.

James looked better; not so horribly exhausted. Nearly two weeks ago he came down shouting about what a beautiful day it was, how he was looking forward to relaxing and asked Lily out three times in a row. Paige pointed out it was raining. Sirius pointed out it was a Tuesday and Lily pointed out she would never go out with him in a million years.

Lily however did look relived as hard as she tried to hide her concern. She also seemed to be warming up to James but blatantly refused to admit it.

Cassie seemed as bubbly as usual only occasionally looking worriedly in one of her friends' direction.

Paige, Charlie assumed, still refused to share any information on her family. Matt had told Charlie their mom was sick but that Paige didn't want anyone to know.

Remus was hiding something. And as sure as Charlie was that James had asked about it she was sure he refused to say anything.

Peter was- where was he? Charlie looked around finally spotting him at the Hufflepuff table sitting next to a girl who was bright red in the face.

Shaking her head she turned back to look at the group. Alice was either the most normal one of the group or she was actually able to hide something.

Forget weird. Teenagers were insane.

'And just think,' Mat commented looking up from his empty plate finally. 'we get to turn into them someday.'

Charlie started slightly surprised she had spoken aloud. 'They are so sure everything that's in their head is so dark and scary they won't even tell each other and realize they are all going through the same thing!'

Matt just shrugged and smiled at the girl sitting down next to Charlie.

'Hi Charlie, Hi Matt. Can I sit here today?'

'Sure, Amy,' Charlie said easily turning to the small blond girl by her side all annoyance gone from her voice.

'Everyone in my house is just so annoying. They are too smart. It's not natural,' Amy said annoyed glaring back at her Ravenclaw table. 'I don't understand why I'm in Ravenclaw!'

'Because you read every time you possibly can?' Matt suggested with another shrug.

'Your sister reads a lot too and she's in Gryffindor.' Amy made a face and continued. 'I think I bring down my house average down a couple points.'

'Yeah from above average to… still above average,' Charlie said with a small laugh pouring herself some pumpkin juice. 'You've beat me in every subject.'

'Not every subject. You beat me in the DADA quiz on Friday.'

'Yeah well if you had James Potter to teach you over the summer you'd be that good too,' Charlie stated dismissively. Suddenly a mass of brown filled the hall and everyone looked up.

'We already had the post!' Matt said not understanding then he noticed the look of horror on Amy and Charlie's faces. 'What?'

Charlie was too horrified to speak so Amy filled in being a half-blood. 'They're black letters! Letters from the ministry to people whose family was killed by death eaters.'

'But there are so many of them,' Matt protested watching as the owls landed in front of horror-struck students.

'There must have been another mass attack,' Charlie said her voice cracking. As she stared at hall blankly, cries starting to erupt from the tables. 'Can't we just have ONE day!'

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James pulled Charlie in close as she sobbed into his shoulder at dinner. Matt sat across from Charlie next to his sister, who had a book open on the table trying to block out the cries of student's with her hands. Next to Charlie was a girl he had met a couple times from Ravenclaw. Amy, he thought.

James turned his head away from Charlie slightly and looked at the others. Sirius was clutching his fork and knife in shaking hands breathing hard. Next to him Cassie had a sad look on her face and she rubbed her eyes half heartedly, wiping the tears away. Finally she turned to Lily who was crying softly as Remus tried to comfort her while quelling his own sadness.

Charlie's sobs increased and James tilted his head down again and started to rub her back comfortingly. _It's not fair…_ James thought in vain tears jumping to his eyes. Charlie should be enjoying her first Halloween at Hogwarts. She should be laughing and stuffing her face with candy. She shouldn't have to be reminded of what she didn't have left to lose.

The usual black decorations of the hall seemed different. Like the Great Hall was set for a funeral. The floating candles in the pumpkins were like a memorial for people lost. _Not enough _James thought to himself as he pulled Charlie onto his lap blinking back his tears forcing his sadness down.

'It's not fair…' Charlie mumbled quietly into his shirt. 'I want them back…'

'I'm sorry, Charlie,' James whispered back at the crying girl but she shook her head wiping her last tears from her face.

'It's not fair…' James thought she was still talking about her parents but she continued. 'The only people who are sorry are the ones that had nothing to do with it. Just once I want the people responsible to apologize.'

James just stared at her. Could he have said that when he was eleven? Would a thought like that occur to him? Probably not…

As the night went on Charlie still stayed close to James and Sirius, clinging to each of the alternatively but the morbid feeling in the hall started to dissipate. Still there were no laughs that weren't followed by a horribly guilty look. And there was no Marauder prank, that year. So instead half way through dinner James stood up.

'Come on, I have an idea.' Charlie lightly slipped her hand into James as he led her out of the hall followed by everyone. Even Amy. Finally they arrived in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit and realization dawned on the other Marauders faces.

'Tickle the pear,' James suggested looking down at the girl at his side while Charlie look back up at him like he was insane.

'I'll do it,' Amy said after a minute and leaped forward eagerly and tickle it. Amy started laughing as it turned it to a handle and opened it with a great show. Inside were the kitchens with a dozen subdued looking house elves until one looked up and saw the group. The house elf smiled happily at them, 'Master James, Master Sirius, Master Remus! Hello!'

Charlie grinned slightly at the squeaky house elf as James released her hand to bend down and speak to the elf. 'Hi, Aisly. Can you get us some hot chocolate and some candy?'

'Of course, Master James,' Aisly squeaked happily and bustled off as the others found a place at a table. Matt meanwhile wondered around looking in wonder at everything in sight. 'So THIS is the kitchens!'

'Of course,' James said grinning at the boy as Paige impatiently dragged him to the table by the back of his shirt. 'I'm disappointed you haven't found it.'

'They're eleven Potter,' Lily reminded him.

'We were eleven once. Just look how we turned out,' Sirius joked easily as he excepted the tray from Aisly.

Lily rolled her eyes and the group sat in silence as they started to sip their drinks. The awkward feeling that happiness was a crime was starting to creep its way back into the night so James cleared his throat making everyone on turn to him.

'Everyone needs to cheer up,' he stated easily, pushing away his drink and reaching into his back pocket. 'So, I'm going to let you in on a Marauder secret. Technically Peter should be here but he's comforting his girlfriend so…' James trailed off as he placed a blank piece of parchment on the table. Most of the group stared at it confused but Cassie's and Paige's eyes lit up in recognition and Remus and Sirius gaped at James openly.

'Prongs!' Sirius shouted shocked 'That's a Marauder secret. Marauders only.'

'And honourary Marauders,' James pointed out before turning to the first years. 'You have to swear to keep this to yourselves.'

'Sure,' Charlie replied easily while Matt stared oddly at the object. 'It's a piece of paper.'

'Parchment,' Amy corrected smacking him in the back of the head.

'It is not just a piece of parchment,' Sirius jumped in, more for the idea now that he saw how happy it was making them. 'It is the secret to the Marauder legacy!'

Amy picked up the parchment turning it over in her hands before looking up at them with raised eyebrows. 'Some legacy.'

Cassie snatched the parchment back with a grin the pressed the tip of her wand to it lightly. 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.'

Everyone gaped as the ink lines filled the page creating a map of Howarts. Alice gasped then grabbed it from Cassie's hands, a slow grin spreading across her face. 'This is so cool! How did you do it?'

'Moony did most of the charms,' Sirius admitted. 'But we all had to map out Hogwarts.

'This part was my specialty,' James said happily as he took the map from and whipped it blank with a wave of his wand. He handed it to Charlie grinning. 'Press your wand to it and say you're Snape.'

Charlie stared at him for a good minute then pulled out her wand with a shrug and complied. 'Er.. I am Sniv… I mean Severus Snape.'

Amy and Matt leaned in on either side as words began to form on the page:

_Mr. Moony would like to ask how Snape was even intelligent enough to attempt a charm on this paper. _

_Mr. Prongs would, also, like to remind Snape to mind his own business and get his grubby hands of other peoples' parchment._

_Mr. Padfoot would like to agree with Mr. Prongs and add that if Snape speant less time stealing peoples things that his hair would be cleaner and he might get a girl._

_Mr. Wormtail would like bid Snape good day and add that he still seriously doubts Snape could get a girl._

Charlie let a very slow grin spread across her face before she looked up, 'This is bloody brilliant!'

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A/N: I'm sorry it took so long! I'm sorry! cowers behind large cut out of hot Sirius Black I'll try to update more often!

Anyways check out my AU fic thta just got posted: Fall To The Dusk. It's going to have an awesome plot! Anyways review please!


	14. One Of These Days

A/N: Again there's a time gap but… meh! Whatever.

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Disclaimer: (turns over cut out of hot Sirius Black and looks on the back) Nope! It says copyright: J. K. Rowling. Not mine!

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**Review Responses:**

**mediatorgirl- **thanx! before I even knew that Voldemort would attack I wrote that chapter for those lines so it's awesome that you picked them out. And I pretty much fell in love with Sirius and Cassie too… and they're my own characters.

**fath8252- **nope not yet…. I'm so evil…

**Poizon- **Returning reviewers… I love ya! And thanx!

**GiddyGirlie- **No problem. I read and reply to all review because I hate it when people ignore mine. No one of recognition died. It was the fact that it was a MASS attack that was relevant. (hint hint wink wink)

**DEDICATION:**

This is dedicated to the scene that Harry sees in the pensieve of his parents and Sirius and Remus and Wormtail (the bloody worm that he is). If they cut that scene out of the movie they will have me and a disposable income to contend with. Mwahahaha! (starts a coughing fit)

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I hate you, I love you  
I just can't remember to forget you  
Who are you, who needs you?  
You make me feel alive, I die, so high  
I'm crawling on the ground  
And I found I can fly

One of these days it all comes together  
One of those days that goes on forever  
Think it sounds crazy? Maybe, whatever  
What's it all about?

It's About Time by Lillix

Chapter 14: One of These Days…

Since the mass attack on Halloween nothing much happened. The first Hogsmeade visit passed, ('Evans?' 'No, Potter!' 'Come on, Evans…' 'Get 'no' through your tiny little brain!' 'But you admit I have a brain!' '…' 'Come on, Lilykins, go out with me.' 'No! And don't call me that!') and the teachers kept piling on work.

Hogwarts settled into a quiet daze until one morning Cassie burst into the dormitory, holding one hand to her neck and looking frantic. Turning to Paige's bed she ran over and ripped the hangings open, beating the sleeping girl with a pillow. 'Paige! Paige, wake up!'

Paige rolled onto her back and blinked blearily up at her, utterly annoyed at being woken up so early. After glaring at Cassie she then glance from the open door to Cassie's undisturbed bed and back again. 'Very naughty, Cassie,' she said grinning slightly, her eyes half closed with sleep.

'Shut up!' Cassie said covering Paige's mouth with the hand not on her neck and glancing over at Alice worriedly as she rolled over in her sleep. 'I can't remember the Cover Up charm!'

Paige pushed Cassie's hand off annoyed and glared up at her. 'Well, what do you bloody well need it for? Get Lily to do it. She's the charm queen.' With that Paige rolled back over, face down in her pillow. Letting out an annoyed sigh Cassie rolled Paige back over and took the hand off her neck. Paige's eyes locked onto the spot she was covering then she rolled her eyes.

'You woke me up because you got a hickey?'

'Shhh…' Cassie implored, glancing around the room. 'Please, Paige!'

Paige yawned, screwing her eyes shut then reached out with one hand, blindly groping for her wand on the bedside table. Cassie rolled her eyes and placed it in her hand. Paige waved it in the direction of her face, muttering something, then letting it drop as the mark vanished for Cassie's neck.

'Thanks Paige,' Cassie said gratefully, as Paige pulled the pillow out from under her head and smothering herself with it, blocking out all sound. 'The next time you want to bloody shag your boyfriend do the bloody spell yourself!'

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James wandered down the hall to the kitchens the same morning. When he had woken up Sirius had just came back from the kitchens (a/n: cough, cough) and James decided it was a good idea.

He felt energized whenever he had a full night's sleep now and he wanted to enjoying feeling rested while he could. A trip to the kitchens was a good start in his books.

'Well, well…. Potter. Imagine meeting you here.'

James pulled to a stop and turned to see Snape leaning up against the wall, sneering at him.

'Bug off, Snivellus,' James said turning back, intent on the kitchens, where he could have a large stack of pancakes, a hot chocolate…

'Where's your friend Lupin?' James froze. Two nights ago had been a full moon; one of their best: no injuries. Slowly he turned back to see Snape with a smirk on his face, knowing he hit a nerve.

'Bug off!' Snape just laughed and pushed himself off the wall. 'One day I'll fnd out where your little friend goes.'

'I said: 'Bug off!'' James said pulling out his wand. 'Remus visits his mother.'

Snape just laughed and pulled out his own wand but kept it at his side like James'.

'What's wrong Potter? Hit a nerve? I guess the mystery of Black is solved, huh?'

James glared and both boys brought up their wands at the same time.

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Lily left the Great Hall a piece of toast in her mouth as she tried to balance her journal and write at the same time. As she smudged her ink across the page she let out a growl of annoyance and hurriedly stuffed both in her bag. Pushing her hair out of the way, she finished her toast and started to head towards Gryffindor Tower.

BANG!

Lily turned abruptly withdrawing her wand as the sound echoed through the hall. After a seconds hesitation she raced down the hall towards the sound. When Lily rounded the corner she half expected to she death eaters, or even Voldemort, but instead she saw: James Potter.

James and Snape were standing feet from each other both with wands drawn and obvious signs of a dual. Potter had a slash on his right cheek up to his temple and another across his stomach while Snape was fighting to stay standing as his feet were dancing frantically under him.

Rolling her eyes Lily performed the counter curse and watched Snape scramble out of the hallway before rounding on Potter. Potter was still glare after Snape wand raised but after a moment he lowered it and turned his eyes to Lily. 'What?'

'I think for one second that you're not a complete PRAT and might actually have feelin-'

'What is going on here!' Potter and Lily both turned to see Cassie and Alice standing at the same corner Lily had just come from. Alice had her mouth open slightly and Cassie was looking back and forth between the two with apprehension.

'Potter,' Lily started, spitting out his name. 'Was picking on Snape! Again and…'

Lily was interrupted as Cassie turned to James concern on her face. 'What were you doing on your own?'

Lily let out an annoyed growl and stormed off around the corner. After a minute Cassie let out a sigh and followed her friend as Alice comforted James saying how Lily would come around.

'Lily!' Cassie chased Lily down the hall and onto the grounds before she pulled up and turned to face Cassie. 'Why do you ALWAYS take his side?'

'I don't take his side-'

'Yes you did!' Lily screeched before running the rest of the way to the way to the lake and flopping down on the grass. 'He was picking on Snape-'

'I sided with James (If you could call it that) because I hate Sniv- Snape,' Cassie commented sitting down next to Lily on the grass. 'He deserves it!'

'Cassie, simply because he mouths off-' Lily broke off as Cassie lept to her feet and dragged Lily up with her. 'What!"

'I'm taking you to see Sirius,' Cassie stated as she hauled her up to Gryffindor tower and into the boys dorm. Sirius was lying on his bed, alone, and doing his homework (a/n: Yes I know what a shocker).

'Hi ladies,' Sirius said happily sitting up and smirking at the to girls. 'What can I do for you?'

Cassie threw Lily into the middle of the room and turned to Sirius. 'Tell her about James and Snape, Sirius.'

Sirius' grin faded from his face as he look at Lily then sighed. 'Okay, Lilykins ('Don't call me that!). Over here,' Sirius said patting the place beside him on the bed. Lily eyed it then him and sat on his bed as far away from Sirius as physically possible.

'Here's the deal,' Sirius started trying to look as serious (sniggers) as possible for him. 'We were all good friends right?'

'I don't know about good,' Lily muttered but after a slight glare from Cassie she fell silent.

'Right. Well then around Easter second year you had that fight with James and we never really hung out anymore and you vowed to hate me and Prongs forever. Sound about right?' Lily opened her mouth but Cassie broke in. 'You were fighting because it was the first time James and Sirius picked on Snape, right?'

'Yes,' Lily stated annoyed about them patronizing her; saying 'right?' at the end of practically ever sentence. 'Because he turned into a bullying prat.'

'All of a sudden? With no reason? Sounds kind of illogical, Lilykins. and we know how you hate that.' Lily just glared at Sirius and Cassie rolled her eyes and picked up the story. 'James had a reason, Lily.'

'What reason?'

'Sirius,' Cassie said simply. 'Around that time James and Remus figured out what was happening with Sirius.'

'And?' Lily asked not seeing where it was going.

'Some Slytherins picked on Sirius because he was a Gryffindor, but James dealt with that. But when Snape picked on Sirius because of _that_… Well…'

'James lost it,' Sirius supplied.

'He's really protective of his friends. Me, Sirius, Remus, Alice, Charlie, Peter, Paige and,' here Cassie paused before rushing on. 'You.'

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A/N: Sorry! I was going to post this on Sunday but I… ah…. got distracted. It 's also shorter then I would have liked... Anyways next chapter should be up by the end of the week and hopefully the same goes for 'Fall to the Dusk.' 


	15. Two Words

A/N: Here you go! Another chappie! This one's a little boring but I'm really looking forward to chapter 16. I've got it all planned out. Yah! And I HIT THE 50 REVIEW MARK! Cookies all around.

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Disclaimer: All I own from Harry Potter is a couple movie posters, my ticket stub from the 'Goblet of Fire' and my hot Sirius Black cutou- hey where'd it go?

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**Review Responses:**

**fath8252- **I know. I know. Typos (cringes) I'm sorry.

**Whitelight72-** thank you.

**Poizon- **Ha! That was just a baby cliffie wait till you see how the 16th ends.

**GiddyGirlie- **Drama. I like it too.

**mediatorgirl- **thanx! and I'll miss your awesome long reviews but (sniff sniff) I'll live. Plus by the time you get back there will probably be 5 or 6 more chapters are done!

**Dani-** Yea! New reviewer! And Drops of Jupiter is going to be used on a chapter because I think it's perfect for what I've got in mind but I've never heard Blind.

DEDICATION:

This is dedicated to Y. Lily. Go bug her and make her update Prince of Adrid.

* * *

And when I touch your hand  
It's then I understand  
The beauty that's within  
It's now that we begin  
You always light my way  
I hope there never comes a day  
No matter where I go  
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see  
You're everything I know  
That makes me believe  
I'm not alone

Everywhere by Michelle Branch

Chapter 15: Two Words

'Look Potter, I only want to have to do this once!'

Lily stood over James in the common room the next day. James was lazily stretched out on the couch reading when Lily stormed up deciding to act on the information given to her yesterday.

'Alright Lilykins,' James said easily sitting up. 'Your room or mine?'

'Shut it, Potter. And don't call me that!'

'Alright, Lily dearest,' James said putting on a mock serious face. 'What can I do for you?'

Lily sighed in annoyance then rolled her eyes and place her hands on her hips. Just because she had to apologize did not mean she had to like it. 'Look, I talked to Cassie and Sirius after yesterday and they explained why you…' Lily shuffled slightly uncomfortably before finishing in a rush. '…and I guess he really is a prat but I still don't approve of how you handle it.'

'Oh,' James said quietly then blinked several times. 'Okay.'

James looked down and was silent for a minute while Lily shuffled uncomfortably. As the silence grew Lily felt even more awkward and annoyed. She apologized, what more did he want?

'Well?' she asked finally.

'Well, what?'

'Are you going to accept my apology, or not?

James looked up at her finally and blinked a couple times. 'That was an apology?'

'Of course it was!' Lily snapped then she paused; did she apologize? She didn't say she was sorry exactly… 'Errr… Okay well, I meant to.'

Lily sat down next to James surprising the boy. She paused then turned to him. 'I guess… I am… sorry.'

James stared at her for a minute as she looked into the fire. Then he turned staring into it too. 'It's okay. I could have told you but I didn't.'

'No,' she said and they both turned to face each other and Lily jolted realizing how close they were to each other. 'You didn't want to tell about Sirius.'

Suddenly Lily stood up and walked towards the girls' staircase. As she reached the first stair she stopped and turned back. 'You're not that bad you know, Potter.'

With that she left and James turned back to the fire. A small smile played on his lips as he repeated the words to himself. _You're not that bad… you know…_ 'Thanks… Lily.'

------------------------

Alice sat in the kitchen that afternoon with Paige and Cassie. After the trip to the kitchens on Halloween it had become a private sanctuary for the girls and the marauders. Now the three girls sat around a table nursing hot chocolates.

'So what do you think?' Alice finally asked turning to the other girls.

'Two weeks after start of seventh year,' Paige said easily ignoring the looks the other two gave her.

'I don't know,' Cassie said looking dejected. 'They're so clueless.'

'True,' Alice amended taking a cookie of the plate in front of them. 'It's kind of pathetic.'

'Kind of?' Paige drawled pulling a book out of her bag which was immediately snatched away by Alice. 'No reading. This is girl time.'

'Alright,' Cassie said happily. 'How was your date with Frank?'

'Okay.' Alice blushed and looked down. 'We were both nervous.'

'Not every couple is like Cassie and Sirius, Alice,' Paige stated attempting to steal her book back. 'Frank is different; less forward.'

'I know.' Alice smiled slightly and passed the book to Cassie so it was further from Paige. 'When we talked about Auror applications he was really passionate, though.'

Cassie nodded but Paige looked at her sympathetically, a rare occurrence for Paige, 'You're worried.'

Alice bit her lip then nodded. 'I know I shouldn't be; we just started dating, but…'

'One year makes a big difference these days, Alice,' Cassie told her. 'He's leaving in a year and you don't want him to die.'

'You want to be an auror,' Paige pointed out.

'I know but…' Alice trailed off again.

Paige thought for a moment then turned to Alice. 'When I was at Cassie's house this summer I talk to James' mum. She's an auror but she's the medi-witch for her squad. That's what I want to do.'

'For me it's been an auror since I was seven years old,' Cassie stated jumping up so she sat on the back of her chair and braced her feet on the table. 'Nothing else. It was only more sure when Voldemort came out of hiding.'

'You're so sure. I'm not.'

'Whatever,' Paige said tilting her chair back onto its back legs.

'Yeah, this is depressing,' Cassie added her mouth full of cookie.

'Alright,' Alice said eyes lighting up again. 'So, Paige how's your love life.'

Paige rolled her eyes and grabbed her book getting up, 'Goodbye.'

'Aww… Paige!'

'Hey, don't push us away, Paige!' Cassie shouted out jokingly.

Paige paused at the doorway and turned back, 'When you get pushed away, it will be down a flight of stairs and into pile of small children.'

Paige left smirking to herself as Alice and Cassie turned to each other.

'Ouch…'

'That hurt…'

----------------------------

Peter glanced around the Great Hall nervously as he sat at the Hufflepuff table with his girlfriend. Lisa, leaned over, letting her dark brown hair brush against him as she whispered in his ear. 'Come on, Peter…. You're a Marauder. Remember?'

Peter turned towards her looking at the girl beside him who was grinning devilishly. 'I've _never _pranked my friends before. Never.'

'But they've pranked you, right?' she asked reaching across him to kiss him on the cheek. 'Come on. It's just a bit of harmless fun….'

Peter bit his lip and looked down not sure about the whole thing. Biting back an impatient huff Lisa reached across him and grabbed his hand shifting so she was practically was sitting on top of him. 'Come on, Pete. They're all leaving for Christmas and leaving you behind… It's the perfect opportunity.'

Peter still looked at her warily but the relented under the crystal gaze of his girlfriend. 'Alright…'

'Perfect,' she exclaimed letting out a giggle and grinning shyly at him while forcing back a smirk. _I've got you right where I want you, Pettigrew.

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_

A/N: Ohh…. What a manipulative bitch… And she just popped out of nowhere and onto the page. Again I'm sorry about the length, or rather lack of length but anyways the next chappie should make up for it. Cheers! And remember to REVIEW!


	16. Hope and Faith Took a Holiday

A/N: Stupid Peter! Stupid Lisa! Stupid Alice! Wait! I'm not mad at Alice. Well I'm mad at the other two! They just had to go and be human. They couldn't be good little bad guys and stay in their 2D cages. NO! They had to have stories and backgrounds and… (shudder) motivation. Oh well. I have their stories worked out, which is why this chapter took so long, and they are good… but STILL! All I need now is for Snape to become human. And he's already half way there! Oh well… This chapter originally had two other scenes but they work better in the next chapter anyway. So here. Enjoy. Refrain from throwing rotten vegetables.

In the notebooks:

Lily- _Italics_

Paige- Underlined

Alice- **Bold**

Cassie- **_All three_**

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Disclaimer: No! Nope! I won't do a disclaimer until I find out who _stole _(That's right STOLE!) my hot Sirius Black cut out. Go ahead sue me! See if I care!

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**Review Responses:**

**fath8252- **yah! no typos! and yes you are hyper. As for your question… wouldn't you like to know!

**Aliolyoxenfree****- **new reviewer! awesome! anyways yes she is a bitch unfortunately now I had to go and give her a back story and… well… you'll see.

**GiddyGirlie- **Mwahhaahahah! This is my first real cliffie so you can't be toooo mad! And I took Paige's line from House then made it more sarcastic and vicious.

**Secret World- **Yes! The return of one of my original reviewers! Wicked! And to all your awesome compliments: thank you! I kind of wanted to have them hex her too but she did use Crucio on her son and got away with it… so… I mean how dumb could they be? (mumbles to self) stupid logical thinking…

**xXxbby-galxXx- **aww.. shucks… thanx!

**Jess-XxX- **Awww… Someone got their friend to read my story…. I feel so special. And don't worry I don't mind the spelling and grammar thing. I just hate editing my own work.

DEDICATION:

In a shameless act of story promotion I dedicate this chapter to _Harry Potter and the Loss of Innocence _by Ioci, one of the best fanfics ever! Go make her update the sequel. Also the notebooks in this chapter are like the WG notebooks all credit goes to Ioci.

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Everything falls apart

even the people who never frown eventually break down  
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie  
Everything has to end

you'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind

The sacrifice is never knowing  
Why I never walked away  
Why I played myself this way  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away  
Why I never walked away  
Why I played myself this way  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

I've tried like you  
To do everything you wanted too  
This is the last time  
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

Pushing Me Away by Linkin Park

Chapter 16: Hope and Faith Took a Holiday

Paige slumped in the hard plastic chair in the hospital. Two days into the Christmas holidays and they were already crap.

'_Your wife is going to have to be permently hospitalized…._

…_.not safe…'_

Paige snorted, apparently her father still hadn't grasped her ability to hear things very far away; enhanced by magic of course. She sighed as she heard her brother come up but continued to ignore him. It was after her mother's latest episode, if that was what it was called when you throw every glass object in the house at your children, that they had taken her to the hospital.

And apparently she wouldn't be leaving.

'Paige?' Matt's soft voice came from beside her as he laid a hand on her arm. Paige shot up and walked down the hall ignoring the telltale footsteps behind her. 'So that's it? Pretend nothing's happened?'

Paige stopped and turned back. 'Pretending nothing's happened but then admitting I'm doing it means I know something's wrong. Hardly pretending is it?'

Paige continued to walk down the hallway with her younger brother chased after her. When Matt caught up to her he grabbed her arm and swung her around with surprising force for an eleven year old. 'Don't give me that. You don't get to hide behind bitterness and sarcasm! Not around me!'

Paige pulled her arm out of his grasp and glared down at the younger boy. Matt glared back and past her anger Paige was dimly surprised; Matt almost never got angry. Finally the younger boy opened his mouth again breaking the silence. 'You can't shrug me off like you do all your friends. We grew up together remember. Same house.'

After a minute of what looked like hard work Matt's face crinkled in confusion. 'I don't get it. What's wrong with you? You can't get. I can't get it. And it's not like Mom's been around whole lot lately, if you know what I mean, so why all the moping?'

Matt paused again his eyes searching hers then his mouth fell open slightly in surprise.

'You feel guilty?' he asked incredibly. 'You feel guilty because if mom was a witch she couldn't get, just like you and me?'

Paige turned around and jumped into the lift ignoring her little brother and set on simply escaping.

Of course it was just her luck Matt seemed to have the same ability to put things together that no one should know.

-------------------

Paige sat alone in the park hours later. She swung on her swing slowly, barely moving as she tried her best to ignore everything around her. Within minutes back in that hospital the roles she was used to had been reversed and she was the one under the microscope. She much preferred it when she was in the other position.

Paige sighed and squirmed slightly. She knew she was bitter. She knew she was too sarcastic. And she knew she was not very caring of other people's feelings. Well not at all caring really. So really it shouldn't bother her that she had been treated the same way. And usually she didn't.

Except this was Matt. Her brother.

Paige sighed again and pushed off with her legs to get the swing moving. Finally she jumped off when it reached full height and landed in a crouch. Paige straitened and dusted off her clothes.

She thrived in secrecy. Truth be told she liked knowing things, finding them out and being able to escape as just 'Paige'. But her friends deserved better then that. The deserved all of her.

-------------------

Lily curled up on her bed that night staring out the window at the soft light of the moon and stars. She had had another fight with her sister, not that that was surprising, but it still hurt more then Lily would like to admit. She had already decided there was no way she could get to sleep anytime soon; she loved her parents but sometimes she felt like she loved her friends more. And she missed them. A sudden thought occurred to her she searched under her bed for a moment before curling back up a small worn notebook in her hand.

Back in the 'Early Years', as Lily had taken to calling the years before Voldemort really started being horrible, the girls had written in notebook during classes or detention (though Lily was usually absent for these). The notebook Lily had was from early fourth year and was one of the last they wrote. Pulling out a torch (what she wouldn't give to use a simple _lumos _spell) she light up the book and turned to page.

Lily smoothed down the dog-eared page and started to read one of her favorite passages:

_**So Lilykins… Having fun?**_

_You should be taking notes not writing in this!_

_**You're writing in it too.**_

_I'm multitasking._

**_You mean that you charmed your quill to take notes while you write in this._**

_#long silence# _

_well… yeah._

**Could you charm my quill, Lils? I need a nap.**

_**Or you could just steal them after like I will.**_

_No! You and Alice are not stealing my notes._

But I can right?

_No, Paige!_

Lily smiled slightly to herself, tracing the words with her finger. This was before Paige had gotten really sarcastic and cynical. She missed the old Paige sometimes, but that was what Voldemort did to people. They had all grown up.

**Did you guys hear about the mass attack yesterday?**

_Yeah…_

_**Great… now look what you've done Alice. **_

**What?**

Lay off guys. 

**Uh-oh... Paige the mediator we're in trouble now…**

**_I'd rather face Lord Mildew._**

_Don't Cass…_

_**Don't what?**_

Just so everyone knows Cassie has that really innocent expression on her face right now. 

**The one she always has on during a prank?**

Which is basically all the time…

_You shouldn't call him those stupid nicknames Cass. _

_**What? His name isn't Lord Mildew?**_

**Here we go…**

_Honestly!_

_**How about… The Riddler?**_

Clever but obvious.

_Oh… you two! Behave!_

**I like Voldie-poo personally.**

_Alice!_

_**He-who-hyphenates-his-name-too-much?**_

_That's actually pretty good._

_**He-who-is-compensating-for-something**_

**Eww…**

**_He-who-is-abstinent?_**

That's actually a good point. When was the last time you think he got any?

_You are all so going to be killed…._

**He-who-steals-stereotypes?**

_**Nice one Alice!**_

_SO dead!_

_**Lord Chuckles?**_

_Oh so dead…_

I got it! You'll all be bowing at my feet in a minute.

**Feeling a little self important, Paige?**

Ha, ha, ha… I'm dieing from your humour. It truly scars me.

_**Nice use of sarcasm.**_

Here it is:

Lord Vadermort.

_**#crickets chirping#**_

**_#Me and Lily fall of chairs laughing receiving very odd looks from the rest of the class#_**

**I don't get it. **

_You've never seen Star Wars?_

**What's Star Wars?**

**_You're worse then Sirius. And I convinced him that the expression was: barking up the wrong bush yesterday._**

_That's kind of cruel Cass._

**_He's my Sirius I'll do what I want with him._**

**You should tell James that.**

_I'd rather we talk about Cassie's sex life then Voldemort's._

_**Don't you mean Lord Dumbass?**_

_Cassie!_

Lily smiled slightly to her self remembering all the times they had joked and

laughed. Still smiling she felt her self drifting off to sleep, notebook still open to the page of Voldemort's nicknames.

------------------------------

Lily woke to the light shinning softly through the window and lighting up her face. With a content yawn she stretched out and pulled the covers back. She was just going to get thinking about getting up when she started and sat up quickly. She had fallen asleep with the notebook open; where was it?

Lily searched frantically around her bed, they were only on loan to her after all, until she spotted it lying face down, open on the floor near the door. She stared at it hesitantly before getting up and walking over to pick up the book.

It wasn't opened to the page she had left it opened to last night but another one she had bookmarked.

_I don't get it…_

Ah yes… The curse of the muggleborns… Complete and utter ignorance….

_**Fascinating insight Paige. 'little depressing but it is you right?**_

_Guys!_

_**Oh! Right! Sorry…**_

_What are dementeds?_

**Dementors.**

_Right. Those. What are they?_

They're creatures that…

_**Are the complete utter incarnation of evil?**_

**Just a little dramatic huh?**

_Yes, thank you… Really. But what do they do?_

_**Evil.**_

**Thanx, Cass. That helps.**

**_They suck out all your happiness and steal your soul through… _**

_**THE KISS!**_

_No really? What do they really do Alice?_

**Err…**

What Alice is trying not to tell you is that is exactly what they do.

_**No one ever believes me!**_

Because you have such a goof track record…

_**#pouts dramatically#**_

_The kiss… sucks out your soul?_

**The dementor's kiss: the last weapon of the dementor. It lowers it's hood and…**

_**Pop goes the weasel!**_

You have no tact.

Lily stared for another minute at notebook then a word forced itself past her lips: 'Petunia.'

------------------------------

Remus was not having the best holiday so far. It was just like summer; with both his parents avoiding him. It had only gotten worse when Greyback decided it would be fun to visit him. Well, it actually had been a little fun for Remus, he finally got the chance to punch the… wolf that bit him. Still, he wished he had told his friends what was wrong (James had asked very frequently) but he had kept it to himself. Worried that they would look at him like he was… some kind of…

_Werewolf, _Remus thought bitterly kicking at a rock on the path back to his new house. After the incident they had moved to a new home where his dad had said Greyback couldn't find him. Remus knew better. Greyback worked for Voldemort if he wanted to find him he would.

In the end only the marauders and Dumbledore were told the new address though none, not even Dumbledore, knew why he had moved.

Remus stepped unevenly up the stone path. The cottage that was their new 'home'. It was actually quite pleasant. Truly English looking with perfectly manicured gardens that were perfectly maintained well before they got there.

Remus reached the cabin and wiped his feet on the welcome mat before walking in not bothering to call out. They were avoiding him; he certainly wasn't going to go out his way to make it harder for them. Remus made his way to his room on the first floor and grasped the handle when he suddenly felt something very wrong.

The hair prickled on the back of his neck and it almost felt like his hackles should be raised. He paused perfectly still until he heard a voice behind him.

'Hello, pup.'

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A/N: Okay yeah so… meh! Next chapter: coming soon.


	17. Violence is Satisfying

A/N: I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry. I wish I had a good excuse but… it was just everything at once. I am so sorry it will never happen again!

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Disclaimer: 

(walks into a small store) I'd like to buy a Sirius Black cut out to replace my _stolen _one.

Cashier (we'll call her Mary): I'm afraid we are all out of Sirius Black cut outs. As you can see (pulls out clipboard) they have all recently been purchased.

Me: Let me see that! (grabs clipboard) fath8252, GiddyGirlie, mediatorgirl, Poizon… Wait! These are all my reviewers!

Mary: Yes well… (cough) as you can see we are sold out. I can offer you a James Potter cutout.

Me: (Outraged) A James Potter cut out!?! What is Prongsie without his trademark smirk, his ruffling of his hair, his witty, mildly confused remarks!?! (storms out of store) I will find my Sirius Black cut out! (pop head back in) Don't sue!

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**Review Responses:**

**Fairy Love- **Sorry about the wait.

**Poizon- **Thanx! And it's not so much that Paige is going to change a lot. She's just going to be a little more open with her friends that's all.

**xXxbby-galxXx- **My poor characters are the victim of my bad moods… Oh well! And I'm glad you like the notebook, though again, I can't really take credit.

**Aliolyoxenfree****- **Sorry 'bout the wait. I'll try to do better…

**GiddyGirlie- **Sorry but there are going to be a number of cliffies in this story but not really anymore for awhile.

**doctor.seuss****- **thanks for the review. New reviewers are like chocolate! Except I don't want to eat them and… yeah… well we'll just stop that train of thought for now…

**Ward- **where to start… well Paige is in no shape, way or form nor will she ever be Professor Treawlany. Angst is a depressing emo like mood.

**Secret World- **good to hear from you again. I love my original reviewers!

* * *

DEDICATION:

To the creators of Finding Nemo.

(How random was that?)

* * *

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead  
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken  
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes,  
This is your life  
And today is all you've got now  
And today is all you've ever had  
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

**This is Your Life By Switchfoot**

Chapter 17: Violence is Satisfying 

'Hello, pup.'

Remus released the door handle to turn around. Glaring at Fenrir Greyback (his own personal werewolf stalker) as the rangy man look at Remus speculatively.

'What do you want?' Remus asked glaring at the man across from him.

'To talk, little pup.'

'Talk. Sure,' Remus scoffed looking around the room. 'What did you do to my parents?'

'Nothing,' Greyback grinned stepping up closer to Remus. 'Besides I thought you were avoiding them?'

'I'm not avoiding them…' Remus protested weakly now that Greyback was at least only a foot away from him.

'Sure, pup,' Greyback said softly as he began to circle Remus who simply stared strait ahead refusing to play his game. 'But I know what you really want…'

There was a long pause as Remus felt Greyback come up to stand right behind him. He could feel his breath ketch in his throat as he felt the older werewolf's breath on the back of his neck. It was distracting him and he was already losing enough confidence to begin with.

'Freedom,' Greyback whispered. 'To not be hated for who you are… To have people you know things as you do… A pack to run with…. To not feel so terribly alone.'

Remus stared ahead grimly and felt a cruel grin form on is mouth despite his discomfort. 'I have a pack.'

'Your little friends?' Greyback laughed stepping away making Remus let out a small sigh of relief. 'Sure they say they accept you now, but when they se werewolves joining Voldemort for freedom they'll change.'

'Why join Voldemort?' Remus asked unable to stop himself, keeping one eye on the werewolf circling him. 'He doesn't care about the lives of his followers. They're just tools. Like you.'

Greyback lunged at him suddenly pinning him by his neck to the wall. 'I serve Voldemort and my pack is safe. Who's really being used?'

'Still you,' Remus croaked out feeling as though all his friends combined popped out of his mouth. Greyback tightened his hold on Remus throat and Remus choked on the lack of air.

'They're my pack, the ones I've bitten. They belong to me… Just like you, my pup.'

'I don't belong to you,' Remus choked out as black spots appeared on the edges of his vision. 'I won't do anything you want me to.'

The last thing Remus saw as he passed out was a ball of feathers launch itself at Greyback's head but by the time he fell from the wall he was already out.

-----------------------

Paige McAdams had one other gift, aside from knowing things no one really should, and it was to look completely comfortable in any situation. This was a good thing too since she was trying to sneak into a closed ward of St. Mungos.

Finally though, to her great annoyance, someone was smart enough to stop her.

'Excuse me?' The nurse asked trying to be polite while looking down her nose at Paige. 'Are you visiting someone?'

Paige blinked once then merely answered yes and attempted to step around the nurse only to be stopped again. 'Who?'

'Auror Potter.'

'Auror…' The nurse seemed to falter then drew herself up to full height again. 'I… don't know why…. you would… think…'

'Well her office is just down here and to the left,' Paige interrupted. 'But that is a rather subtle clue.'

'I…'

'Then again there are signs saying this is the way to the Auror healers right? Maybe that's more obvious.'

'I am impressed, Mudblood. Didn't know you could put one foot in front of the other.'

'Severus!' Paige exclaimed in false cheer turning around to see the cool Slytherin boy leaning up against the wall. 'How's that rash doing?'

'What are you doing here, Mudblood?'

'Now see here!' The nurse exclaimed looking outraged at the two. 'That kind of language-'

'Fishing,' Paige replied causing both Snape and the nurse to look at her sharply. 'I woke up this morning and thought: 'Good god, I sure would like to go fishing today!'' She paused allowing her words to take effect. 'What about you Snivellus? Run out of small children to eat or do you just really like to smell of hand sanitizer?'

They both just stared at her until Paige heard a voice from behind her. 'I have to say I'm impressed. And I'll assume you're Paige?'

The woman behind her was obviously James' mother. She had the same black hair, though hers was not messy, and the same happy hazel eyes. As she looked at Paige she looked amused even though she seemed exhausted.

'May I ask how you made Nurse Caroline and a Snape completely speechless?'

'It's all about conviction, Mrs. Potter,' Paige replied easily. 'If you don't truly believe they're idiots you will never succeed.'

'I'll keep that in mind,' she replied smiling slightly. 'You were looking for me?'

Paige nodded and pulled out three letters from inside her jacket. 'Can you get these to James, Cassie and Sirius? My owl is otherwise occupied.'

'No problem.'

'Thanks Mrs. Potter,' Paige replied turning to go back to the lobby. 'And you might want to lock the liquor cabinet from now on when you go on life threatening missions. Just a thought.'

-----------------------

'Hey Mudblood!'

Paige turned mildly annoyed as Snape approached her on the street outside St. Mungo's. It was tribute to how self-centered people were that they didn't notice two teenagers holding sticks of wood in the middle of a crowded street.

'What?'

'You're going to regret all those little comments one day,' he hissed stepping up to her. Narrowing her eyes slightly she stepped up closing the space between them.

'And I suppose you're going to make me?'

Snape smirked. 'I won't have to Mudblood.'

'No I suppose your big bad friends will take care of that.'

Snape eyes narrowed in anger and spit out, 'Ever felt a Crucio Mudblood?'

It happened so fast Snape never had a chance to duck. Paige lashed out ramming her palm up to break his nose. Snape crumpled to the ground clutching his bloody face. She prodded him lightly with her foot then sighed.

'I probably shouldn't have done that,' Paige sad turning to walk away. 'But sometimes violence is just _so _satisfying.'

-----------------------

Lily sat at the kitchen table a pile of books in front of her, neatly organized into two piles. One contained her homework; the other something she wanted to look at herself.

Since a couple months ago when she… overheard the conversation between Cassie and James she was curious. Cassie said James had nightmares. Then she said that he had night terrors. About something that happened when they were both little. What were the words James used… 'fell in a pool'? And he said Cassie had nightmares and that she was scared of everyone but him before coming to Hogwarts. _That _didn't sound like Cassie.

Sighing Lily pulled the first book fro the library towards her. _Alright first things first: What are night terrors?_

**'A night terror, also known as pavor nocturnus, is a parasomnia sleep disorder characterized by extreme terror and a temporary inability to regain full consciousness. The subject…' **(1)

**'**What the..!?!' Lily closed the book and stared at the cover. What did knowing the Latin name of it get her? Putting the book aside disgusted at the blatant lack of useful information and picked up the next book: a glossy purple hardcover with and inaccurate diagram of the human brain.

**'Imagine falling asleep to the sound of a trickling waterfall…'**

Lily tossed this book over her shoulder carelessly. Unless night terrors were from needing to pee she doubted it could help her. The next book looked more promising: a boring cover with a simple title.

'**Night terrors are distinct from nightmares in several key ways. First the subject is not fully awake when roused, and even when efforts are made to awaken the sleeper, he/she may continue to experience the night terror for ten to twenty minutes. Unlike nightmares, night terrors occur during the deepest levels of non-REM sleep. Even if awakened, the subject often cannot remember the episode except for a sense of panic, while nightmares usually can be easily recalled. After the night terror is complete, it can often result in a seizure, which is commonly a tonic-clonic type (although the subject may not be epileptic). The subject often has no recall of the dream, nor the fit.**

**Unlike nightmares, which are frequently a scary event dreamt (e.g. a monster under the bed, falling to one's death, etc.), night terrors are not dreams. Usually there is no situation or event (scary or otherwise) that is dreamt, but rather the emotion of fear itself is felt. Often, this is coupled with tension and apprehension without any distinct sounds or visual imagery, although sometimes a vague object of fear is identified by the sufferer. These emotions without a focusing event or scenario increase emotions in a cumulative effect. The lack of a dream itself leaves those awakened from a night terror in a state of disorientation much more severe than that caused by a normal nightmare. This can include a short period of amnesia during which the subject may be unable to recall his name, location, age, or any other identifying features of himself. This state generally passes after only one or two minutes.**

**While each night terror is usually different, all episodes of the same person will generally have similar traits. One of the most common qualities of night terrors is a strong sense of danger. For these people there is always a being, tangible or otherwise, who wishes to hurt the sleeping person. Many sufferers of night terrors are reluctant to speak of them because of their violent and often disturbing fit.'** (2)

That was a little better. It sounded like post traumatic stress disorder to Lily, but she wasn't sure. What else did Cassie say? Insomnia…

Lily reached next for a book on sleep disorders that came up when she looked for night terror books.

'**Three different types of insomnia exist. Insomnia may be classified as transient, acute, and chronic. Insomnia lasting from one night to a few weeks is referred to as transient. Most people occasionally suffer from transient insomnia due to such causes as jet lag or short-term anxiety. If this form of insomnia continues to occur from time to time, the insomnia is classified to be intermittent. Acute insomnia is the inability to consistently sleep well for a period of between three weeks to six months. Insomnia is considered to be chronic, the most serious, if it persists almost nightly for at least a month, and sometimes longer.' **(3)

_Well.. Cassie said cronic… _Lily thought flipping ahead to that chapter.

**'Chronic insomnia is on ongoing condition. Rather then a short term period caused by stress, chronic insomnia is often caused by recurring nightmares or night terrors and is often brought on by a serious traumatic event. Chronic insomnia is also common in torture and abuse victims…' **

Lily paused reading and stared thoughtfully into the distance. Both night terrors pointed to some traumatic event… and both Cassie and James mentioned something happening before coming to Hogwarts…

But what could scare James Potter, who was if nothing else brave to the point of stupid, enough to traumatize him?

And what force in the world was scary enough to make Cassie scared of people…?

_Wait... Voldemort!?!_

-----------------------

James was not entirely sure why but lately Charlie had taken to running from rooms with tears in her eyes yelling that boys were stupid. He suspected that this had something to do with Matt but, wisely, he chose not to say anything and let Cassie handle it.

Since Cassie was busy with Charlie and Sirius was hiding in the garage playing with his 'baby': a recently acquired motorbike, James was alone after both his parents were called out on Auror duty. And there was something about sitting alone over Christmas holidays getting drunk on the couch that was very unsettling.

Then again maybe it was just that last shot of Firewhisky.

Finally giving into his conscience he cleaned up and went out for a walk still feeling the mild effects of the alcohol. The cold air was not improving his headache by any means but still he kept walking until he came to a frozen pond.

James stared at it unblinking as he remembered the times he and Cassie went skating on the ice.

'_Come on… We always race…'_

James turned startled by the voice and saw a seven ear old Cassie standing front of him. Slightly transparent but bundled up against the cold and holding a pair of skates she smirked at him.

'Cassie?' James sputtered looking down at the young girl but she ignored him.

'_What? Afraid to lose?'_

A younger version of himself appeared, also holding a pair of skates, but looking slightly worried.

'_They never let us go by ourselves…'_

'_You saw the note,' _the little Cassie countered. _'Must've changed their minds, huh?'_

'_I don't know, Cas…'_

'_One lap! Or are you afraid I'll finally beat the great James Potter?'_

Both of the figures faded out of site and James shook his head to himself, _'I've got to stop drinking…'._

'_NO! Don't touch me!'_

James whirled around finding only thin air but still looking frantically for the source of the scream. It sounded almost like-

'_Don't leave me..'_

James spun in a circle. That sounded _exactly_ like Cassie but it wasn't a scream anymore… more like whimper.

'_Cassie calm down.'_

James kept spinning fallowing the voices, since his own was added. _'What the hell is going on?'_

'_Please Cassie… It'll be okay… just… calm down. Please!'_

'_Jamie?'_

James kept staring around frantically. Cassie never called him Jamie. James Jamesie, Prongsie, even Jimmy once, but never Jamie. No one called him Jamie. He _hated _being called Jamie.

'_Jamie is it?'_

James' breath stuck in his throat. Who the hell was that?

'_Don't mess with the kid. We're…'_

James was spinning again as buzzing was filling his head.

'_Come on… just havin' a lil fun. Let his daddy see what it's like to lose a son.'_

'_It'll be okay Cassie…'_

'_We have orders!'_

'_Just shut your eyes, Cassie.'_

'_You take things too seriously'_

'_Jamie…'_

'_Cr-'_

'_Shut them NOW!'_

'_CRUCIO!'_

James hit the ground screaming.

* * *

A/N: Alright so… two are passed out (three if you count Snape), multiple didn't appear in the chapter (poor Alice) and I still am ignoring Quidditch… Oh well…. 

1- Excerpt from Night Terrors article on Wikipedia. I do not own any books on Night Terrors. Get over it.

2- Also Wikipedia.

3- Wikipedia article on insomnia. I don't own any books on it either.


	18. If I Could Fall

A/N: EVERYONE LISTEN UP!!!!!!!!!!

Due to being lost creatively and needing some guidance a few things are happening.

(1)WE ARE HAVING A VOTE:

Choose 1 only:

a) Revamp James and Lily: A Hogwarts Story (probably will take two weeks maybe more)

b) Finish your fic then revamp it you lousy &#

or

c) Just put up the next chapter there's nothing wrong with the first 18 chapters

(2) Fall to the Dusk will be leaving us. I'm sorry but it's just not working out to be a fan fic. It's making a really awesome story though. It will be taken down March first.

(3) Some of you may have seen my profile. I tend to update it if I haven't written in awhile. But anyways….

"After I finish JL: aHS: I have part of it's sort of sequel started already. Harry is the main character. The main pairing is Harry/Ginny. It's not going to change so don't ask. It's AU and will feature roles from: Paige(in prologue) Now also in more of the story to Cassie to Sirius to Remus to Charlie to fun OCs to the golden trio to Neville. After I am officially halfway through JL: aHS I will put out a summery."

(4) I'M LOOKING FOR A BETA!!!! FOR BOTH JL: aHS and it's sequel which is about a third through the first chapter. IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW OR EMAIL ME. Thank you.

* * *

Disclaimer:

(ninja dressed figure rappelled down the side of a building)

Me: I will have m Sirius lack cut out even if I have o break into Poizon's house (sorry Poizon)

(break window and grab the cut out while alarms start going off)

Me: #&!

(runs away into the night)

Me: Don't sue me!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

**Review Responses:**

**GiddyGirlie- **You aren't really supposed to get it yet. Though I hope you weren't confused about what was actually happening.

**Poizon- **Thanks that means a lot to me. I really appreciate readers who look forward to reading my fic.

**Secret World- **Yup! All right. You pretty much got all the clues left so far except one… HINT to everyone: look again at Chapter 7. The person who finds it gets err…. I'll think of a prize.

**Wildphire- **New reviewer again. Awesome.

* * *

Something missing 

Left behind 

Search in circles 

Every time I try 

I've been here before 

I've seen you before 

I can't escape winding down these halls 

Hard to find a place where there are no walls 

And no lines begging me to cross 

Only straight ahead better move along 

Like Clockwork 

I commit the crime 

I pretend to be 

everything they like 

These Walls by Trapt

* * *

Chapter 18: If I Could Fall

Mrs. Potter was not very happy when she returned home, three letters clutched in her right hand, to find her son, her ward and his two best friends, one who lived with them and one who might as well, unaccounted with no note or message of any kind. In her and her husband's line of business finding your young charges when returning home was never a good sign and with James…he always had attracted trouble, ever since he was a baby and found that if he wiggled his nose just the right way a door could unlock.

Carefully closing the living room door behind her, she placed the letters down on the table and walk through the room cautiously. When she found those boys….

'_And you might want to lock the liquor cabinet from now on when you go on life threatening missions. Just a thought.'_

Eyes narrowed in suspicion, Mrs. Potter approached the liquor cabinet to find the door slightly ajar, a single bottle of Firewhisky missing. Of course, she probably should seen this coming, she thought, given that James and Sirius were nearly seventeen, almost of age, and they never seemed to avoid trouble. Still she put on her best angry other expression and took a deep breath. 'JAMES POTTER! SIRIUS BLACK!'

She waited a second impatiently then Sirius' head popped into the room. 'Hey Mrs. P your back!'

'Young man,' Mrs. Potter started. 'Why is there a bottle missing.'

'Of what?' Sirius asked genuine confusion on his face as he came over to stand beside her. 'I didn't take anything Mrs. Potter, I've been working on my baby all day.'

'Then…' Mrs. Potter trailed off. 'James?'

'Prongs?' Sirius asked confused. 'Where is he?'

'He's not with you?' She asked searching Sirius' face then her mouth thinned into a grim line. 'Get Cassie; we're going to find him.'

It took the three of them twenty minutes to find James. After Cassie finally admitted James was still having nightmares and suggested checking by the old pond, they found him, sprawled out, coat half undone in snow.

'Prongs!'

'James!'

Cassie and Sirius both rushed over to were Mrs. Potter knelt in the snow beside her unconscious son. 'Cassie, Sirius get him inside quickly.'

Cassie nodded reaching down with Sirius, the back of her hand brushing his frozen face. 'He's so cold.'

'I'm sorry, Mrs. P,' Sirius said as they lifted James up. 'I didn't know he was drinking.'

'It's fine, dear,' Mrs. Potter said kindly, forcing a half smile as her sad eyes raked over her son looking for injury. 'I just don't know why he would come out here when he wasn't focused.'

'He loved that pond,' Cassie commented her voice wheezing slightly from strain. 'It was his favorite place in the world, even more than the Quidditch pitch before….' Cassie trailed of looking down at her foster brother's face sadly.

'Will he be okay, Mrs. P?'

Mrs. Potter just continued to look down at her son running her fingers through his pitch black hair. 'He might be a little sick for awhile, Sirius, dear.'

---------------------------------

When James woke from his sleep filled with vague images and half emotions, he woke to being almost completely naked in a warm bed someone hugging him from behind. Letting out a shaky breath he rolled over to see he familiar face of Cassie, her arms around him, half asleep herself.

'AHHHHH!!!!!!' James yelled twisting around so he fell out of bed, landing hard making the air gush out of is lungs. Cassie woke slightly blinking blearily down at him confused as to why he was on the floor. 'What are you doing?'

'What am I doing? What the hell are you doing?' James yelled out, trying to stand out having his legs give out so he was half leaning on the bed.

'You had hypothermia' Cassie explained calmly, pulling him down and throwing the covers around him again. 'You had to get body heat from someone.'

'I doesn't matter,' James ground out. 'I'm only in my… and your only I your…'

'Yes, Yes…' Cassie just sighed impatiently and pushed him down, none to gently when he tried to rise from the bed again. 'It was either me or Sirius. Which would you prefer?'

'Death.'

'Very funny,' Cassie stated rolling her eyes as she pulled him into an embrace again. Then she smirked as an idea came to her. 'Just close you eyes and pretend I have red hair and green eyes…'

James elbowed her roughly in the stomach as she laughed softly. 'Or I could bring Charlie in here….'

'I hate you,' James muttered voice muffled by his pillow slightly. Then after a minute he half turned over tensing again. 'Did you used to call me Jamie?'

'Jamie?' Cassie repeated frowning. 'Let's see… Prongs, Prongsie, James, Jamesie, Pogie,' Huh. James had forgotten about that one. 'Nope no Jamie. Why?'

'I don't know,' James said doubtfully. 'Just something I've been thinking about.'

'Have you thought about what compelled you to go out, wile under the influence, in the middle of winter?' James shifted guiltily as his mother swept into the room closely followed by Sirius, who looked a little too amused by the sleeping arrangements.

'Sorry, Mum,' James said softly as his mother waved her wand over him frowning slightly. 'I don't know what I was thinking.'

'Well either way, you are not leaving this house until school starts again and if I hear from your teachers…'

'Yes, Mum,' James agreed sinking further into the bed as he felt Cassie try to restrain her laughter from behind him. He closed his eyes sleepily thoughts clouding up as he listened to his mother give Sirius and Cassie some instructions.

'Mum?' James finally asked as the room fell silent and he cracked open one eye slightly.

'Yes, hun?'

'Dad?' James asked suppressing a yawn.

Mrs. Potter looked down sadly before meeting her son's eyes. 'He's at work honey.'

'That's 'kay,' James muttered sleepily. 'Just make sure he's alright.'

'I will sweetheart,' Ms. Potter said softly running her fingers trough his hair until he fell into sleep, a frown still on his face.

---------------------------------

Lily drummed her fingers on the kitchen table impatiently the day before the Hogwarts express left for Hogwarts. In front of her she had two letters: one from Cassie and one from Paige. They both told her the same thing: nothing.

Paige's simply said to deal with the Marauders presence for an hour or so the first day back because she had to talk to them all.

Cassie's just said James got sick over the holidays so could she please try not to snap his head off. She was also warned not to accept any rides from Sirius anymore, whatever the hell that meant.

Lily's mind drifted to her last shouting match with her sister. Lily had been very intent on confronting her sister about going through her things. It had ended in Lily being pulled off her sister by her father and their mother grounding them both. Luckily for Lily though, her parents couldn't enforce grounding when she was at Hogwarts so it ended tomorrow anyways.

Lily sighed looking doubtfully at Cassie's letter again. Cassie had sounded like her normal upbeat self but something was still off. Almost as though, there was an underlying tiredness underneath the whole thing.

Lily had been really disappointed at her grounding because it meant she didn't have the freedom to look more into Potter's supposed 'Night Terrors'. Not that she really cared, she reminded herself, but well… she wouldn't lie she was curious.

James Potter was if nothing else known to be unflappable. And Jam- Potter being terrified of something didn't add up.

Once again Lily wondered if her first thought about Voldemort had been right; if Ja-Potter and Cassie had run into Death Eaters or something when they were younger. She could even check newspaper records for it- if she wasn't grounded and had a better idea about the timing. All she had to go on was that it was before Hogwarts, which narrowed it down to… eleven years.

That's a lot of newspaper to read, even for Lily.

Still, Lily reflected, she could probably getaway with sipping the first four years or so. Then again she wouldn't put it past Potter to get into trouble as a baby.

Suddenly Lily shuddered. Imagining Potter in his terrible twos was not pleasant; he was annoying enough now.

There was still something about this whole ordeal that reeked of planning. The Potters were incredibly influential n the wizarding world. Lily hadn't even realized just how much power they had until fourth year, when James had been injured and had immediately been take to St. Mungo's. _Actually, _Lily mused tilting back her chair, _he seemed kind of embarrassed. He could easily be a lot worse. _

And it might have simply been someone who wanted to get to the Potters that hurt James, but then, why Cassie too?

Lily sighed. There was a reason why parents warned kids not to play Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys. It gave horrible headaches and quite frankly kids just weren't that great at it.

---------------------------------

James sighed as he gazed at the fire red Hogwarts express. His eyes still had some small bags under them and he was worried that someone, someone with green eyes and red hair, might notice and call him on it. And he really did not want to tell the story of his drunken exploits.

Luckily though Hogwarts seemed like a much easier place to hide secrets in than it did when he was younger. After all, look how much practice he got.

'Hello James.' James turned and smiled gratefully at Paige for the distraction. 'Hey Paige.'

'Are we getting on or we just going to look at it all day?' She asked smirking slightly as she walked past him. 'Come on already Potter!'

James smiled and shook his head as he jogged after Paige. Reaching her he pulled her trunk out of her hand to pull ignoring her disgusted look. 'Something wrong?'

'Yeah actually,' she said grabbing her trunk back. 'The degradation of society.; it's a real problem.'

'I'm sure it is,' James said humoring her as the got onto the Express and found an empty compartment.

'Alcoholism is too,' Paige said as she stowed her trunk above her. 'How 'bout that?'

James froze and turned to stare at Paige who simply sat, smiling knowingly at him. James just turned back, finished stowing his own trunk and sat across from Paige crossing his arms across his chest.

'How?'

'Oh, James,' Paige said shaking her head a slow smile on her face. 'I'm just that good.'

'Of course you are Paige,' Cassie laughed as she entered pulling Sirius through behind her and sitting next to James.

'Stop feeding her ego, Cass,' Alice said as she came in Lily following behind her. James' eyes met Lily's eyes and she gave him a small uncertain smile. James blinked in surprise then smiled widely making Lily's smile a little bigger but even more confused.

'It's not ego if it's true,' Paige countered breaking through the moment. Lily rolled her eyes turning away from James and stowing her truck as James looked around to distract himself. 'Where's-?'

'Right here,' came a small tired voice from the doorway. The group turned to look and the sight of Remus made Cassie, Lily and Alice gasped as Paige sat up straighter brow creased with worry.

Remus had finger shaped bruises around his neck, which stood out stark against his pale skin. He had a gash and one eye and was leaning heavily against the door.

'Remus!' James dove for his friend helping him to the seat beside Alice. 'What the hell?!'

'Yeah, I look horrible,' Remus said tilting his head back closing his eyes tiredly. 'Thanks for sending Dei by the way,' he added opening his eyes to look over at Paige.

'Well it doesn't seem like he got there early enough,' Paige said sympathetically gently moving Alice out of the way and probing the cut on his cheek. 'You passed out?'

'Air loss,' Remus replied his voice croaking. Paige's fingers moved to the bruises on Remus' neck pressing down lightly.

'Did you get checked for vocal cord damage?' Paige asked giving the others who were crowding around a glare.

'I did go to the hospital, Paige,' he replied tiredly weakly pushing Paige's fingers away.

'What happened?' Lily interjected as Paige forced Remus' hands down and resuming her inspection. Remus licked his lips nervously glancing at James and Sirius over the girls' heads. After a long moment of silence Paige looked up at Remus' face sighing. 'Lily knows if that helps.'

'Lily knows what?' Alice asked looking confused at Lily.

'Yes what does Lily know?' Lily asked looking at Paige but Paige's eyes never left Remus' face as she examined his pupils. Finally Remus sighed eyes locking with James'. 'It's was Greyback.'

'What!?!' Cassie, James, Sirius and Lily all yelled shocked.

'Who?' Alice asked looking from face to face.

'Greyback?' the group turned to look at Peter who stood in the doorway looking at Remus.

'Yes,' Remus said sitting up with a groan as Paige started poking his ribs gently. 'A werewolf.'

'The werewolf,' Cassie corrected as she started pacing the compartment and Peter came to stand next to Remus. 'The werewolf who sided with Voldemort and is…'

'Is what?' Alice asked irritably as the others exchanged looks except for Lily. 'Is what?'

'He's my sire,' Remus finally spat out wincing as Paige probed his third rib.

'What kind of butchers did you see at this hospital?' Paige asked pulling out her wand. 'You cracked a rib; hold still while I fix it.'

'What the hell do you mean sire?' Alice asked jumping up.

'It means Remus is a werewolf. He was bitten- by Greyback- when he was little. Now keep your voice down!' James hissed. As Alice's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. Everyone waited holding their breath as Alice processed this, waiting to see if she would reject him. Finally Alice spun on Lily. 'You knew?'

'Yes,' Lily said guilty looking at Remus. 'But Remus didn't know I did.'

'And you?' Alice asked turning on Paige.

'We've been over this. I know everything.'

'And the rest of you?' Alice asked turning to the others. 'You all knew?'

The group murmured generally yeses and consent. Finally Alice's face drooped pathetically. 'I'm the last to know?'

'That's what you're worried about?' Sirius asked incredibly after a minute of silence.

'Yes,' Alice said then turned to Remus. 'I mean it's very nice and impressive and all. I offer my condolences but… really?'

'What?' Cassie asked confused.

'There are no words for how much that bothers me!'

'Don't worry,' Paige smirked. 'I doubt that will stop you.'

Remus turned to Alice smiling. 'Thank you.'

'No problem,' Alice replied looking down at Remus. 'Get some sleep.'

Paige quickly waved her wand forcing Remus to sleep even as he protested. The group settled back down after each gazing worriedly at Remus but not wanting to talk and walk him up. Finally Peter stood up and walked out the door with a murmured: 'I have to go see… someone.'

---------------------------------

Lisa stormed through the halls of the Slytherin end of the train. There was nothing that predominantly showed it was the end belonging to that house, the others mingled freely with each other, but no one but Slytherin ventured into the halls.

Not willingly anyways.

Except Lisa was a Hufflepuff and she shouldn't have a reason to be down there. But Lisa was a Hufflepuff on a mission.

'What the fuck Snape?!' Lisa snapped as she slammed he door of a compartment behind her. The only resident of the room looked up from his book to look at her lazily.

'What is it Calder?' he drawled not moving position from his seat.

'When I give you quality information I expect you to use it intelligently,' she snapped storming back and forth across the compartment. 'So that it can not be linked back to me.'

'I have no control over how the information I pass on is used,' Snape continued not caring.

'And I am not useful if I get caught.'

'Pettigrew is too dumb to figure it out,' Snape spa out closing his book and putting it aside, the first sign of interest he had shown.

'His friends,' Lisa spat out. 'Are not.'

'Follow your orders,' Snape instructed.

'I don't want to have orders!' Lisa screamed gesturing wildly.

'Neither do I,' Snape snapper coldly as he stood and gripped Lisa's arms painfully. 'Neither of us want to be in this position.'

Lisa shrugged him off and stormed out tossing over her shoulder one last shout: 'Just don't get me killed.'

* * *

A/N: Once again that chapter just kind of went off on its own. I hope you like the new longer format. 


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